The other day I was given a name of a 'new' shadchan, with amazing reviews-Kinda like a movie, minus the '2 thumbs up'. But because I've been in the system for a while, I usually just listen whilst rolling my eyes, I mean, aren't they all the same? Isn't every shadchan 'a-m-a-z-i-n-g' and big deal if they made a really great shidduch recently (what makes a shidduch 'great' as opposed to the regular shidduchim they make anyway?). Honestly, I feel that they are all the same=a waste of time. OK, I know that sounded really negative, so I apologize, but just so you get the picture, I've spent numerous weekends, vacations, days, etc. traveling to New York/Toronto/Israel, etc. to meet Shadchanim. The time/effort/money spent, not to mention the emotions, etc. just to get 10 minutes or less of time to sit down with someone, go through all your information, take photos, some times paying the shadchan/shidduch group and then to get NOTHING, not a date, not a phone call, not even a returned phone call. Some have answering machines that even tell you not to leave a voicemail! They take your money but don't answer your emails/texts. They agree (after you BEG them) to meet you but don't even have any boys (your type). Shouldn't they just quickly ask on the phone, or tell you on the phone BEFORE you travel down to meet them about what type of boys they have and what type of shadchan/shidduch group they are?
In any case, so I got the number and made an appointment to go meet the Shadchan. When speaking to the person who arranges the meetings (yes, it sounded like there was a designated 'secretary'), I asked to have the last appointment. I requested this so I wouldn't have to 'wait around' with other singles, or perhaps people I know, or the 'fresh outta sem' girls with their mothers....
At the appointed time, I walked in and the 'secretary' spoke with me for a while, getting to know me, etc. She then showed me into the den/office to meet with the Shadchan. We met, we spoke, I answered all questions and was wished good luck and promised I would be 'worked on'. I walked out as I walked in-with no expectations. Only, as I left the den, I was looking at numerous young girls. By young I mean, 18 or maybe even 18 1/2, some with their fathers, some with mothers and one with both her parents. I knew a few of them and it was sort of humiliating. I can't explain the feeling-but it is embarrassing enough to have to 'sell' yourself to all these shadchans/people, but when you're like in your late twenties/close to thirty and you see these little 'pishers' walk in with their freshly blowdried hair, kakalength skirts, seminary 'hashkafos' and their parents, it's like-no words can describe how much more humiliating it is. It would've been more sensitive, to have in fact, given me the last appointment, as I requested, but at the same time-is it inSANE that parents have to take their kids who are maybe just turned 18 to a Shadchan?
Guess, we're all in the same boat here. How insane!