Thursday, February 25, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
If you're a guy, here are 10 tips that can make the first date easier on all of us.
Take charge. We do not want to decide where to go. We will never tell you this, but it is true. Ask us what kind of place and/or food we like; then, pick a place like that. Do not leave it up to us to choose. You are the man. Act like one.
Smile. When we arrive, smile. Maybe you are a tough guy. Maybe you are nervous. Maybe you are paralyzed. Either way, smile. Women are strange, exotic, intuitive creatures, and we respond well to positive reinforcement. Do not glower.
Mind your body language. If your legs are crossed and your hand is over your mouth, we will unconsciously think you are hiding something. If you are sprawled out all over with your legs spread wide and your hands behind your head, we will think you are a slob or generally loose. Sit up straight, lean in closer, and keep your hands where we can see them.
Ask questions. This seems obvious, but it's surprising how many men don't do this. You know what women like? Attention. Also, kittens, flowers, and cupcakes. Nothing else. If you seem curious about the woman sitting across from you, she will like it. For sure.
Listen. You can't just ask a bunch of questions, and then not listen to the answers. They call this a "date," but, really, for women, it's more like a "test." If you e-mailed or talked on the phone beforehand, remember what the hell she told you about herself. If you forget, we will feel angry and want to leave. Then you will be sorry.
Use flattery, appropriately. If at some point during our meeting, you tell us we are "beautiful," "attractive," or "pretty," we will like you better than if you didn't. It's. Just. That. Simple.
Act confident. We really do not care if you are secretly neurotic, deeply insecure, or mildly nuts. We are interested in how you portray yourself. Act confident, interested, engaged, self-assured, ambitious, and happy. We like that. Thanks.
No pawing allowed. If you're going to score with us at some point, we will let you know. Trust. Occasional physical contact is OK -- a hand to the small of the back, a touch of the thigh, a brief holding of the arm while making a point. Do not grab anywhere in the red light zones. If we want your hands there, we will put them there. side note: this doesn't count for us SHOMER frum singles-in which case, occasional contact is only ok after marriage
Please pay. Feminism, shmeminism. Take care of the bill without comment. That is what we want. Wave off any offer to go dutch. We lied. We don't want to pay half.
Say goodnight. Don't meander off into the night. Do something. What -- that is up to you: a handshake, a hug, a kiss. Do it right, and you might get a second date
TM & © 2009 TMV, Inc. All Rights Reserved
Monday, February 22, 2010
Last night was the first time in quite a while that I went to an ALL SEF wedding. Meaning, both sides were TOTAL Moroccan Sefardi. Lemme just state-from an Ashkie point of view-SEF weddings ROCK!
Yes, everything from the shmorg (cocktails) to the dancing to the DJ (music) to the GORGEOUS guys, ROCKED. Here's a few of the things I liked better than our weddings
1. LOTSA more single guys
2. The single guys that were there were all STUNNING, had great hair, nicely put together, etc.
3. The food was awesome! they just kept replenishing and and offering more and more.
4. GREAT BAR=drinks all night long! (and for once, I wasn't the designated driver!)
5. Mixed cocktails-by the Sefs, they don't have Kaballas Panim. You don't see the Kallah, people just walk around and socialize by the food, guys & girls together.
6. Gorgeous gowns-give it to the Sefs-not only do they have the 'natural beauty gene' but they have really good taste in their outfits.
7. Decor-these people had it from the crystal dripping posts, to the flowers and palm trees in the hall.
8. Did I mention really good Cosmopolitans?
9. ULTRA leibedik dancing on both ends!
10. Chosson & Kallah & bridesmaids-groomsmen walk down to Titanic, Josh Groban-you raise me up, etc.
So, if its Ashkie vs. Sef wedding-which would you choose and why?
Sunday, February 14, 2010
1. Girl's mothers send box of chocolates to Shadchanim (in order to upgrade them to the top of 'the list')
2. Boys calling their moms to wish them Happy Valentine's Day (if they know what's good for them)
3. Boys mothers receiving conversation hearts with a name of a girl on each heart candy and a phone number/email for contact information on the back.
4. Shadchan sends singing telegram to boy, singing girl resume to him to persuade him to go out.
5. Boy uses Valentine's as a reason to wear a pink shirt.
6. Girl buys low-fat, calorie-free, chocolate to binge on after being dumped by guy
7. Shidduch Meetings brainstorm creative ways to propose, all using chocolate, candy & flowers.
8. Girls can wear red or pink on a date and get away clean.
9. Girls with the name, "Rose, Rosie, Roslyn' are most likely to get a 'yes' from a guy.
10. Girls can get away with sending 12 red roses to the guy they have their eye on without worrying about being too forward
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Thursday, February 4, 2010
After my post(s) regarding contacting/meeting with Shadchanim in NYC, I received the following email from one my fellow blogreaders. As it was too long to post in the comment section-and I would like to share it with y'all, I'm giving it its own post. So enjoy and hopefully, as much as we all like the 'company' of sharing our horror stories, no one will have to go through this.
First off the meeting began with said shadchan catching up on the who's who and what's what of my hometown, as well as telling me the business and shidduch secrets of my fellow 'homies'-how unprofessional and totally unconfidential- though really by now nothing should surprise me, right? Then he ask me a small bit about myself. When I stated my age he was surprised and said here's the direct quote no joke "he could easily sell me for about 5 years younger than that." Whether or not I wanted to do this, which I obviously don't, he didn't seem to care about. In addition to this he told me he never received my e-mail of my resume and a picture of myself as well. I reminded him that I had sent it last week and it was even in my sent items. To this he replied by calling for his partners (because although he has made 100s of shidduchim he can't check his e-mail) who promptly checked and said, that yes of course it was sitting unopened in his inbox. So, first he lies and then lies again. Upon opening my picture he stated that my smile, yes you read that right, my smile was too big, and followed that one up with "when you get engaged you can smile like that, for now send me another one with x,y,z, as requirements. "So to sum it up, he lies, lies and then insults what can be better than that? Probably the fact that after all this he ends of with promising that you can trust him, really, trust someone who tells you all the above, as if! Aside from the fact that if he needs to state that he can be trusted, then he obviously can't! So after this meeting I got to talking with some relatives, it seems that there are many people out there, who look at shidduchim as a market. Apparently we singles are the product and the guys are the consumers. So how can we be better marketed to attract the attention of the consumer? Lie about your age of course, send a photo of yourself at a wedding-cuz that's definitely how you'll appear on a date, etc. I can't understand people who exploit the problems of others for money. All I could think about was how probably when this guy saw me, he didn't really see me, he saw DOLLAR SIGNS! B"h we are people not products, we are not talking business here, but rather the rest of our lives, this is not a catalogue or a custom order that can be filled and paid for in full, we are not of value but rather valuable, right? As I arrived home, feeling somewhere between fuming, and disgusted, I couldn't help but wonder, is this a person that G-d chooses to enable shidduchim? And I'm sad to say this, but a little part of me is praying that whenever the right one does come along it won't be through this guy, because then I'll never hear the end of it!