Thursday, April 10, 2014

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Perfectly Wrong

Being harassed is tiring and that's how I spent these last few days. This woman who claims to know me has been calling around. I know because my neighbors, friends and acquaintances have all told me she called them. That was before she called me. When I got the call, she introduced herself by saying we met briefly before (which I clearly don't recall) and let on to some kinda Jewish geography connection (small world...). Then she went on to tell me she had the "perfect" shidduch idea and asked for my email address so she can send me his bio. I provided this to her but was shocked when the email came in. Everything about the guy was exactly what I was NOT looking for. It's as if this was world's worse joke! 
I didn't know how to handle this, since I knew that this woman-the way she sounded so enthusiastic and excited when we first spoke, would NOT take well to my "no" to her suggestion. But honestly is best policy, right?
Before I even had the chance to call her, she had called me. Twice! And left a voicemail! When I called back and told her it wasn't shayach she didn't take it lightly, as I predicted. In fact she went ballistic. She was adamant that this guy was "THE ONE" although to can't even fathom as to her reasoning. 
So here I am, days later, still trying to convince her that yes, my answer is still "no". Still trying to figure out how if she doesn't even know me, why she believes he's perfect. Especially since he's nothing I'm looking for, not even remotely. 
Let's put it this way: how do I get the message across so that she can stop harassing me (and everyone else that knows me) for good??
How can I make her understand that it ain't gonna work AT ALL?
all suggestions will be taken seriously
*this is not an April fools joke* (although my shidduch life is beginning to feel like one right now)

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Freak or Fashionist-Friendly?

Went out with this guy a few times. The first time he seemed genuinely fun and I had a great time. Second time, more personable and decent. Then  he made mention of something during a convo. I'm not quite sure how he brought it into the conversation, as it had nothing to do with any topic or discussion but it kinda weirded me out. He asked if I changed my nail polish since our first date. I know there are women who notice everything about other women (especially style) and maybe there are guys but he seemed waaay to focused on it. <side note: I did NOT change my nail polish as there wasn't really time between our dates>. He wouldn't let it to and convinced me that it was different. Whatevs, I was too awkward we out to argue. 
Then later on when we met up he made mention of my perfume and asked me if I was wearing "such and such" brand. That seriously creeped me out. Unless his mom wears that brand and he just bought it for her as a gift?
Does anyone find these two specific mentions to be normal??!??

Monday, March 24, 2014

Putting the "Uch" in Shidduch

There are so many different names in my shidduch vocabulary, and by that I don't mean "on the market" and "in the parsha". I have my own shidduch lingo that my friends and family have gotten used to and use themselves. 
Different categories of boys/families have different names as well as code-names for the annoying shadchanim (aka 'namedroppers') and communal people who 'just wanna help u get married'. 
Well, I'm sure you, my fellow readers, have your own words and superlatives to describe this 'wonderful world of Shidduchim' which we are living, but I would just like to place my focus on one type. 
The type of people who put the "Uch" in Shidduch. The creeps. The ones who you feel might be a bit too stalkerish. The men who are a tad bit too friendly. I mean, they're always the nice, "cool" young guys who "totally get it" and are down to your level but there's something about them that just makes you uncomfortable. 
Lucky for me, I've had my fair share of "uchs". I've dated some of them, were redd by some of them and had those weird emails/texts from others. 
For starters-my word of advice is keep your distance. If you feel uncomfortable, there's a reason. In my case it was a guy in the community who I knew "of" but he didn't know me and was trying to understand and get to know me in order to redd me a shidduch but the more he kept emailing me the more awkward I felt and just ended it. I told him I was busy dating someone else and would be in touch if things didn't work out. When I happen to see him at the local grocery or seomthing I walk the other way I just don't get good vibes from him. 
Oh and then theres the guy I dated who was majorly obsessive. He wouldn't stop calling me while we were dating from the moment he dropped me at my house until the next date! Or the one who insisted on buying me something EVERY date and would make me choose cuz he HAD to? Or the guy who asked waaaaaay too many too personal questions. l say there are lotsa hardships and emotions in dating. Just stick with ur gut-if it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't. Cut it off as soon as u get the vibe. There are enuf meshugenas around what's one less? Especially in Shidduchim! Do the rest of us singles a favor, when there's an Uch-get rid of it. 

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Purim Prank or Profile Punishment?

I was speaking with a shadchan the other day for quite some time. The issue that came up (this time) was one that was mentioned before so I wasn't at all alarmed-just disappointed. 
He explained to me that he redd me a shidduch but upon calling the references listed on my profile, the boy/boy's mom got a TOTALLY different impression of me. The references they spoke with described an 'extremist' type girl with very yeshivish views and chassidish background. 
No-I kid you all not. That whole phrase didn't make sense to me either, in fact it's a total oxymoron, which is why I had the shadchan repeat it to me numerous times. 
The deal is, I've had issues in the past with my references, which is sad as most people use their friends and close confidants as shidduch references. So when you're informed that someone close to you is giving bad/wrong information, you sorta start losing trust in those around you. So began Shidduch Profile 1.2 and then 1.3.  Now in 2014 I would say I've updated to Shidduch 4.0 and I have faith in my references...well I did have faith in them until this week. 
What irks me is how off that phrase that the boy's mom told the shadchan is. For starters I'm totally Hungarian background not chassidish. Second of all Yeshivish is no where near me at ALL. And lastly all the small details about my personality were total opposite. So I can't figure out why someone close enough to be my friend would sabotage me. 
I'm praying that this is all just 'broken telephone'.
Then again, with my friends, this can all be one large Purim prank gone too far. Well, only one way to find out :D