Friday, August 26, 2011

Why do we even BOTHER ticking off the boxes?

OK, is it only me who has these issues? I sent the resumes, I re-edit the resumes when Shadchanim tell me to remove/add certain stuff. I send my photos, crop the photos, upclose, full length, zip the files, and even go on the online websites when asked to. I spend hours signing up on those sites, filling out forms, ticking off boxes, all to 'help' me and to enable the chosen matchmakers online to better understand more about me and what type of guy I'm looking for.
THEN, I receive matches that are TOTALLY NOT shayach, like at all!
If I check off that I'm looking for someone between 22-28, who is single, modern-orthodox, working and outgoing, I get a match for a guy who is like 33, divorced with 3 kids, sefardi/lubavitch, who is learning in yeshiva and is a quiet-more to himself type personality.
I must admit, it is definitely quite frustrating when spending so much time, trying to help people just 'get' me and to help them understand what type I'm looking for, but I feel that after all the MISmatches I'm being sent and being 'redd' to, why even bother? It is a waste of time and energy, it's as if these people are obligated to set up 1 girl/guy on the site per week and they just log in, click 'match' and BAM=they did their duty.
So, peoples, am I the only single who is experiencing this issue?

Sunday, August 21, 2011


“Hashem doesn’t have a Blackberry or an iPhone, but He is my favorite contact.
He doesn’t have Facebook, but He is my best friend.
He doesn’t have Twitter, but I follow Him nevertheless.
He doesn’t have internet, but I am connected to Him.
And even though He has a massive communication system, His customer service never puts me on hold!”

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Tu B'Av

I know it's a tad too late for this, but being that I forgot to post it 'bo bayom', I still wanted to put it out there.
So y'all know about Tu B'Av. It's like THE DAY for Shidduchim. The day that in the past, all the girls went out with their pretty (borrowed) dresses and danced in the vineyards, and the young single men would go out and look for themselves a wife. Being that they all borrowed dresses, the men were told not to look at the beauty but of the families wherein the women came from, as the true beauty of a woman is on the inside, her essence, her core, her Yiras Hashem.
It is a celebrated day as 2 bans were lifted from the Jews on this day in the past: they were allowed to remarry the sons of Binyamin and (2) that girls whose father died were allowed to marry out of their Shevet.
Basically, it is what I call a 'Segulah Day' or in more simple terms: 'A day to remind us we're all single and need to find our zivug'
This year, as in the past, we received more than a few phonecalls where people told us a few segulos, offered to say Tehillim on my behalf or had an idea in mind and they just figured because Tu B'Av was now, maybe they should 'redd' it on that day, etc. I rolled my eyes at each call thinkin, here we go again, but at the same time, reminding myself that as annoying as this may be, these people are just honestly trying to help. In truth, I am (still) single, that's my matzav at the moment and I should be doing my utmost to find my future mate, but as a Frum girl I'm sorta limited in the sense that I'm not gonna put on my leather mini skirt and hang out in the bars.
Darn, why can't we all just borrow each others clothes and have a flashmob of frum single girls dancing to the same song and let the guys watch and choose?

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Summer for Singles?

Since the start of summer I've heard many 'single' comments, mostly directed at me, such as:
'Isn't it easier to get a date in the summer? it's quieter then'
'you should go on vacation, maybe you'll meet a nice guy-who knows?'
'He's burnt out, he's taking the summer off'
'You shouldn't go on vacation, you should be dating-your first priority should be to get married. THEN, once that's taken care of, only THEN can you go on vacation (with your hubby)'
In any case, I can go on and on and on, as have some of the people who were quote above, but seriously peoples, my fellow singles, is this nuts?
Do you find that you get more or less dates in the summer than during the year? I don't know about most of you, but I have a typical office job, where we were ALL year round, no summers off. I'm always ready to date, even if a guy comes in and it's crazy hectic at work and at home, I make time in my schedule to date him and I expect anyone to do the same for me.
Also, what's this about burnt out? We're all burnt out and we all need vacas, but from the looks of it (after seeing many friends marry), you only get to go on vaca-at your HONEYMOON. Until then, guys & gals, it's like Shidduch Boot Camp!
And why can't we enjoy single life? This is the time to enjoy, no responsibilities (to a spouse, children, etc), care-free, relax, party on. I'm all for vaca, anytime you can take it-grab the opportunity, who knows when you'll have the chance to chill with friends again. You don't wanna regret that.
So, do you think Summer is for Singles or would you say Summer is for Shidduchim (only!)

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Why not 'Revisit'?

I can't believe it's August already and I feel like I NEED A VACATION!
y'know how shadchanim are always telling you (or is it just me that they tell?) how boys are 'burnt out' and are 'taking a break' from shidduchim, etc. How come girls can't ever take breaks? I tried it once and I get why it's not a good idea (look at it from a diff. point of view and you will see why) but everyone needs a breather....which is why I'm spending my evenings looking up vacation spots-as the minute tisha b'av is out, I'm outta here! the meantime, the sad reality is that currently my status is still 'single', dry-as-a-fly, minus the 'plus one' in attendance, 1/2 of a whole, pathetic soul, etc.
Which means, I gotta keep smiling at people, answering the same questions (are you picky or what?) and looking all prim and proper. and even so, I still get the calls:
"Hi SOS, my name is Mrs. ___, I'm a Shadchan from this Shidduch group. Anyway, your name was mentioned and it seems like 4 out of the 5 people in the group either heard about you, or set you up. Which is how I came to calling you. Apparently _____ was 'redd' to you before and you went out. We know because when Mrs. ___ mentioned his name for you, she immediately emailed the boy who emailed back that you dated years back but YOU said no. So perhaps, since he sounded interested and you're BOTH STILL SINGLE, you may want to REVISIT this boy? Y'know I know atleast THREE couples that are married now that dated once and called it off the first time because it wasn't for them but then years later it came back and they both went out and are happily married. YOU NEVER KNOW (heavy NY accent), it may just be Bashert and you're both sooo similar."
ya, I feel like getting the 'recycled' guys and then getting pushed into saying yes because honestly, I can't remember why I said no at the time, is just making me more upset. It looks to me like these people are saying 'hey girl, everyone out there your age is married already, so either marry someone who is divorced, widowed or recycle the ones you dated in the first place. By now, one of those should be up to your likings'
humph...while everyone is telling me to 'revisit' my old options and look through my books, the only place I'm thinkin of revisiting right now is DisneyWorld!
Anyone wanna join? (perhaps there'll be some fun frum guys there and it may just be the place I needed to revisit in order to find my bashert)