Monday, August 31, 2009
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
well, it depends. It depends on alot of things. For starters, who is saying how tall the guy is? Do they know him? Did they see him?
Estie is only worried because of her past experience with height issues. She was told the guy was average height and when he came, she was taller and i mean a head taller. She's not a tall person to begin with, I would even put her somewhere between shortish and average, so you can imagine her disappointment. I'm not putting down short people, as the author of this blog can be categorized as being on the short side, but for some people: height matters.
What I don't get though is, why are people lying? If the guy is short, the girl will find out either way, either by calling people, or when he shows up at the door! So what's the point. Just say it as it is. ok, here and there people will add a few inches, but there is a difference between average height and SHORT!
I've heard girls respond to the question with the following "how tall am I? (shake of hair behind shoulder), well it depends....are we talking with heels on or without? and if we ARE talking heels, are we talking everyday office heels, Shabbos heels, wedding heels? cuz there IS a difference you know..."
Well, I want to advise her to do the right thing. Like 'don't worry, just call a few references and see what they say' or 'maybe it won't be like the last time', but I don't know....after the last date, she was REALLY disappointed. I know that tall guys don't always want short girls and I get that, because I remember I once dated a basketball player almost 7 foot tall guy and I was jogging alongside him to keep up with his pace as he strolled through Botanical Gardens in Brooklyn. Do I think its the worst thing in the world, no? But does that make it correct to make a short boy sound average height by adding a few inches-NO!
What would you do?
First of all, in response to the comments on the "X marks the spot post", I havta agree with Child אִישׁ Behavior when he says that all girls wear black, mostly becuz its true. Like I said, I had a few weddings this week and a few in the next 2 weeks and I've been shopping to almost every mall in the city and most of the clothes are BLACK! so its really hard to find something OTHER than black. At the same time, an auction would be a cool way to end off the wedding, sorta auctioning off the bachelors...problem is, not every girl brings a fancy mini purse to carry cash in..
While on the subject of girls wearing black at weddings, I'd just like to point out as well that the second most common wedding color (not being any shade of black) is beige, white, or cream. Which if you check out Material Maidel's post, is obviously a color that is outvoted as well, because that is the color usually chosen by the bride & family.
Now that you've knocked out all shades of black and white (including cream, eggshell, grey, silver, charcoal, off-white, etc) that leaves you with either pastels=summer weddings, or darks, burgundy, navy=winter weddings and that is difficult again together as you have to find the right shade of color that the wedding party wants, then the right shade to match the shoes to match the accessories...guys, this is alot of work and research on the girls' part.
So, basically, if anyone reading this post knows of any available weddings outfits that are around and available in all sizes and for a decent price, that is not in the color range of black-white, please feel free to let us know where us girls can buy these dresses so we can start getting noticed from the guys, who can easily point us out of the sea of black dresses!
Friday, August 14, 2009
There has to be a better way that girls can pinpoint the single guys, and I'm not saying all single men @ weddings have to wear hot pink velvet suits. I'm saying perhaps all men who are single and looking to get married should wear a turquoise tie. But then again, how would you be able to single out which turquoise tie guy you thought was cute? OK, how bout this as an idea? What if all single guys had to wear a number? I'm talking American Idol Audition numbers. That way you can walk over to a friend and say 'hey, check out 45, he's cute, what's his story?' How brilliant is that? They can manufacture special sport jerseys with a 'singles' logo on it and the guy's can choose their number. You can spot out the cool dancers without even having to stand a wee bit over the mechitza!
ok, I know I'm totally outta the league, but c'mon, it would make life MUCH simpler!
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Monday, August 10, 2009
“The Bachur.” The concept is the same:25 girls vying for the heart of one guy. The twist? They’re all frum!
Got this email as a forward today...enjoy :)
Subject: “The Bachur.” The concept is the same:25 girls vying for the heart of one guy. The twist? They’re all frum!
Do you love the idea of The Bachelor, but are too frum to watch it? Then you’ll love the new show, “The Bachur.” The concept is the same: 25 girls vying for the heart of one guy. The twist? They’re all frum!
Our Bachur this season is Avraham Yitzchak Greenbergsteinkowitz from the holy city of Coffeeneck . He has studied in some of the best yeshivas, is over 5’6” and is a lawyer, doctor AND an accountant. You might ask why such an exceptional Bachur would choose such an unusual method for meeting his bashert. “Well,” says the Bachur, “I have been dating for over 6 months now and still have not been able to find my bashert. After consulting with all 17 of my rabbeim, I felt that this intense approach would be the best way for me to do so.”
The creator of the show is none other than Perry Charshady, who is the mastermind behind other reality TV hits such as “I’m a Rebbe…Get Me Out of Here” and “So You Think You Can Shteig.”
=0 A“The premise of the show is the same as that of The Bachelor,” Charshady explains, “except with some minor differences to make it more appealing to a frum, heimishe, audience.” For example, the bachurettes will face-off with challenges such as the Challah Bake-Off. The bachurette with the worst tasting challah will be sent home. And who will be the judge of something so crucial to building a bayis neeman b’yisrael? “My Imma!” exclaims the Bachur. “She makes the best challah ever, so who better to judge?” Additionally, while on The Bachelor the bachelorettes go home to meet the guy’s family, our bachurettes will have to have a meeting with the Bachur’s favorite Rebbe.
And who are these bachurettes? Well, they are all no larger than a size 4 and went to Strict College for Women where they studied to be a therapist of any type. They also all come from wealthy homes in the Metropolitan area. “I just don’t feel comfortable with out-of-towners” The Bachur explains, “No one really knows what goes on in those places. At least where I’m from, everyone knows each others business so I can really get to know what a girl is like by asking, you know, her neighbors and kindergarten teachers about her.”
From the very first episode, it is clear that these girls are top-notch. After being the first bachurette to be sent home, Chana Shprintza Cohenbaumosky cries “How could he reject me? I mean, I went to NNI – the best seminary in all of Israel !” Later in the show, the second rejected bachurette sobs “Doesn’t he even know who my father is?!” But, not all the bachurettes are so sincerely committed to their seeming “Chesed Each Day” lifestyle. In one episode late in the
season, The Bachur gets his first big shock: “I don’t always wear tights,” confesses one bachurette.
Who is this shiksa posing as an accomplished bachurette? Is she the same one concealing the fact that she has Facebook? Or is more than one bachurette hiding a dark side? “It just bothers me when someone isn’t honest with me,” The Bachur says disappointedly. “I mean, if you talk to other boys or don’t have a white tablecloth on your shabbas table then clearly you’re not frum enough for me, and if you’re not frum enough to be here, then what are you even doing here?”
So what’s the next project for Charshady? A season of The Bachurette, per haps? “No,” says Charshady. “The Bachurette would be almost impossible to create.” Why? He explains: “This is a reality show and if we were to portray 25 buchrim trying to win over one girl, it would not be an accurate representation of reality.” He then adds “And, on a
technical note, the process of find ing 25 eligible buchrim would be an almost impossible feat.”
Well, this season promises to be one filled with scandals: bare legs, Facebook and even (gasp!) Law School ? “It’s always been a secret dream of mine,” reveals a teary-eyed bachurette. But, it also will be packed with fun: hotel lobbies and exotic trips to Chevron! And fear not, there will also be plenty of Tehillim said through bouts of sobbing.
So tune in every motzei shabbas!
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Tired of all that traveling in and out of NY for dates? Spending too many hours in the car/ on the bus/ on the train/ on the plane en-route to your destination city to meet your date? Losing too hours of sleep by traveling through the night? Spending too much money on the 'travel' part of the dating experience? Ever get the feeling that you spend more time staring at the highway/train tracks/cloudy sky then you do at your job? Feel like the out-of-town dating issue is bringing you down?
If you've answered yes to one or more of the questions above, then WebCam Dating is for you! With today's modern technology and the internet being so convenient, why not take advantage of the easy accessable, user friendly, messengers services and get to know someone without the hassle of traveling and wasting time.
I feel like this fake infomercial has been running on and on ever since my last few trips to NY, when my dates turned out to be a total waste of time. Yes, pathetic as it sounds, when you spend umpteen hours in a car/on a bus and there's nothing else to do but space out and stare at the windows, it really gets you thinking. Either I can play the date over again in my head and point out all the things that made it so awful, or I can try and see what can be done to make my next date easier and less disappointing. Well, for those of you who like to compete with 'well my date was the worst because...' try and top this one. The last time I went out with a guy, he was an out of towner currently living in NY and even though the Shadchan said he would travel to the city where I live, he had no idea of this and asked if I can come to NY to see him. So, me, being told (as usual) how a-M-A-Z-I-N-G this guy was and how he didn't 'just say yes' to most girls, drove down almost immediately. I got up at the crack of dawn and spent who knows how long in the car. By mid afternoon we met in NY and within 1/2 hour of meeting this guy-i knew he wasn't for me. To cut a long story short, about 2 hours later, I was back in a car, driving the long hours on the highway and made it home by late evening, annoyed, upset, albeit exhausted!
When I came home, a close friend of mine suggested why not make use of a webcam and sorta date a guy in the comfort of your own home, while being able to see him and converse in a chilled out atmosphere without having the hassle of traveling. That way it wouldn't upset either party and they both wouldn't havta waste time away from work/learning, etc. I thought it was a great idea. You don't even havta wear high heels! ok, all kidding aside, what do you think? would u give it a try?
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Umm, hello?!?! sounds a little familiar? ok, we don't have infrared cameras along with a filming crew coming on dates with us, but admit it=we're all in the dark. This is what blind dating is all about (unless you get setup with a neighbor, friend, or cousin), you get info, you call random numbers aka 'references' who always tell you nice things, then you go out and BAM-the spotlight shines down on your date-that first minute you see them before you leave on your actual date. Only, they can see your reaction. So whether you like them or not, or think they are seriously U-G-L-Y, you keep smiling and continue on...
Wonder who has it better, Frum Singles in Shidduchim or guests on Dating in the Dark?
Monday, August 3, 2009
Now, I just wanna state that this is not a statistic, nor am I claiming war on any 'sides' in particular, I'm just stating the facts as they were in these stories and being that we were all girls, most of the blame was on the (sorry in advance but-) guys.
So here's what I don't understand. These days there are families who bring up their children with the difference between right and wrong. Instilling in them Middos Tovos, how to behave, how to act like a true Torah Jew and above all, to always be a Mentch. Eventually the children grow up and go their own ways to Yeshiva/Seminary and come back as mature individuals ready to make a life of their own. So, WHERE ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Here are just a few examples of the guys that dated friends of mine (author included) and the lack of manerism on their part.
#1) Guy and Girl on date. Guy seems to be very good conversationalist, extremely friendly, funny, outgoing, has the looks, and everything going for him. Then he comes up with a typical NY line and while talking about all the girls in New York, he tells the girl "I can have a girl for breakfast, lunch and supper if I wanted to". Girl looks at guy and tells him, if that's what you want, then go for it and don't let me get in the way.
#2) Girl (from out of town) goes to NY to meet the Guy. They meet in Manhattan at night and have a nice date at one of the many hotels the city has to offer. Guy asks Girl how she is getting back to the airport (to fly back home). Girl laughs nervously and says, she is going to relative in Brooklyn and the relative will take her back. Guy asks how she is getting to Brooklyn, girl responds with you, I hope. Guy faces her seriously and tells her he doesn't have a car. Takes her (and her luggage) on the subway with him. On subway, tells Girl he will not get off at her stop, as people might recognize him and he doesn't want to be seen on date. Tells Girl when to get off subway. Girl walks alone, shlepping suitcase in Brooklyn to relatives house.
#3) Girl (out of town) travels to NY to meet said Guy. Guy takes girl to restaurant, busy the entire time with his smartphone, booking meetings, etc. Guy tells Girl he is so busy he barely has time to date, so he does in between meals, doesn't really eat, but still has a few minutes to chat. Guy drops Girl off 20 minutes later. Why even bother in the first place?
ok, so by now you probably got the point. I just don't get why some people can't be Mentchlech. There are probably some girls out there who do the same. I just don't understand it. I've been through some horrible dates and by horrible, I mean BAD, yet, I've been polite (I hope) with each person, and patient (waited out the 3-4 hour ones, even when I knew after 1 minute it wasn't for me) and haven't treated them badly or rudely. How come some people are just sooo outrightly rude and where are their mothers, who brag about having such wonderful young men? I'd like to have a chat with them!
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Why am I telling you this? Simple.
This Friday night I was going for a stroll in the area when I meet a friend I haven't seen in years-literally! She comes down, smiling and we chat and catch up for a few minutes. Then she tells me that she met a little girl on the block who asked her if she knows my family. She said yes. The girl then asked her if she knows me, to which she replied-yes (we grew up together). The girl then smiles and tells her, good, because she is getting engaged. So here is my longlost friend and she is congratulating me and telling her parents. I'm soo confused and telling her this is not at all correct, when another neighbor walks over to my mother and congratulates her on her daughter's engagement, to which my mom looks at me questionably. I just shrugged.
Now, I always joke about how I'll be the last one to know I'm (getting) engaged, but seriously this is twice already....
Perhaps the third time round won't be a rumor...hopefully it'll be true and I'll actually KNOW the guy by then :)