Monday, August 31, 2009

Just Say No!

I'm NOT referring to drugs here. Nor am I talkin about taking up smoking. I'm takin bout being honest, getting back to people and moving on.
Don't know what I mean? Lemme give it to ya plain and simple.
A Shadchan calls and tells you that someone is 'looking into you' and asks for some more references, info, etc. You give over all your 411 and are informed that the Shadchan will be in touch with you once she hears back from the 'other side', so that it will be your turn to do the background checks.
So one day passes by, then the next and slowly but surely (unless you're having the time of your life-hence the saying "time flies...") day 3 comes and goes.
Do you call the Shadchan? Does it sound desperate? If no one calls back, does that mean they got a "No" and you should just 'get the hint and move on?'
Don'tcha just hate being 'in limbo'? It's one of the worst feelings=not knowing. Not knowing if there was a "no", not knowing if maybe they're still running your license plates on their hacked research programs, not knowing if perhaps they were out of town for a week. Not knowing what to tell other people who call and ask 'are you busy',..... just not knowing.
And dear readers, I, SOS, have the solution and will be most honored to share it with all of you today. The key to avoiding this problem is simple: if you're not interested, simply CALL BACK and tell the shadchan 'No'. (ok, you can pepper it up with some kind adjectives and apologetic mannerisms). If you get the machine, leave a message, or call back to make sure that they GOT the message. But just get back EITHER way with an answer. Don't leave people hanging. No one enjoys being left in the lurch.
Trust me, I'd rather get a straightout "no", then wait around for a few days wondering...

Sunday, August 30, 2009

What Would YOU Do?

here's the deal: my cousin called me up with yet another one of her "OMG-YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED TO ME" stories.
She was walking down her block when a lady in the community stopped her car and told her she needed to speak with her. She told the lady she was on her way home and the lady can reach her then. She figured this woman would call her on the phone to talk, however, within a few minutes of her dumping her bags on the floor, this woman rang her doorbell. She goes to the door and the lady is smiling at her. Not a regular 5 second smile, but a LARGE, FAKE, make-you-feel-awkward smile that is everlasting. She shows the woman in and closes the door behind her. The woman, still smiling, remains at the front door and look up at my cousin.
She then tells my cousin 'you know I have guts' and puts her smile back on. My cousin just looks at her and doesn't know what to say, so she just smiles back, a quick, short smile. The woman tells my cousin she has a Shidduch for her. She then goes back to the nevereding smile.
There is awkward silence and she asks my cousin if she should speak to her directly or rather her mom. My cousin says, it makes no difference as her mom discusses all shidduchim with her either way. The woman smiles, looks up and says 'It's my son'.
-------silence reigns the room------other than that million watt smile coming from the lady, aka the boy's mom, my cousin doesn't know what to do or say so she pastes a fake smile on her face and remains calm.
The lady goes on giving more details about her son and she tells my cousin that it is a compliment that she, the boy's mom, thinks my cousin is good enough for her son.
Basically, she went on and on about her son and told my cousin to discuss it with her mom and call this lady back. Also, this lady lives a few blocks away, and works together with my cousin on a few communal projects during the year, which means they see each other quite ofen.
Now, this may sound biased, but for those of you who KNOW me, know that I am a total honest person, so lemme just explain that my cousin is a beautiful, skinny, tall, smart, talented, girl. This lady's son is short, heavy, no looks, no brains, and I don't wanna say 'off the derech', so I'll just say 'dancing on the borderline....'
So, if you were the one answering the door.....How would you react?

Thursday, August 27, 2009

The Pity Vote

DISCLAIMER: It you have not yet begun dating, do NOT read below, it will TAINT your mind and change your opinion regarding the fun of dating!
OK, let's face it, dear readers, most of you are 'of shidduch age' and have been 'in the parsha' for quite a while now. As someone whose been on the dating scene for quite a while, let's be honest=it SUX! Yes I'm not gonna paint the Shidduch scene as a nice rosy place where you get to get your hair/nails/makeup done and get new outfits for each date, etc. and you have sooo much fun spending hours with a total stranger if he even turns out to be decent. So aside all the stuff you havta go through, including but not limited to: the phonecalls/faxes/email, investigations, references, traveling reservations=for us out of towners, finding suitable replacements to cover while you're away, finding a place to go to (if the guy asks you to in advance, or if he comes to your out of town city, or JUST IN CASE he goes somewhere really lame and you need an emergency "outer"), choosing the 'right' outfit (weather permitting, fancy or casual, too tznius or a little more OUT THERE, etc.), calling the shadchan, etc. you would think you've been through enough already by just going out on a handful of dates, but NO. Society has given you the title of a 'Single' or if you're really lucky (and above the age of 18 1/2) and "Older Single". This basically means that you get the "pity vote" from most people.
What does that mean you ask? Well, here's an example. Someone from my city is getting married this week. She just turned 18 and is probably the first girl in her class. My parents received an invitation as they do business together a few times a year. Then she sends a separate invitation addressed to yours truly. why? I cannot figure out. I'm not her age, wasn't her classmate, wasn't her campmate, not her friend, not a family friend, etc. I'll tell you why, because as they go down the list of invitees, they see my parents' name and realize-oh they have a daughter...nebach she's still single...mammelleh we should send her an invitation, it would be such a big mitzvah and she wouldn't feel left out. OK, that's just how I picture it. But half the time, in these cases, i don't go to these weddings. (A) because I have nothing to do with the kallah (B) because I have nothing to do with most people going, as they have some 'shaychus' to the Kallah (C) I'm not interested in being the only one my age-group there, or one a few girls my age and having the "Im Yirtzeh Hashem By You-Soon, Soon" well-wishers.
So, perhaps, because it is Elul, I will give this Kallah the benefit of the doubt, and while I'm at it, all others as well, but I truly believe deep down and it's just a pity vote.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

the Big MOVE

Now that the new year is right around the corner and people are coming back from their summer vacations, or just summer lazyin' around, the 'Job Search' has begun for some of us. Let me just say, B"H I have a good job where I work all year round (except Shabbos and Yom Tov, oh ya and Xmas, new years, etc) so I don't havta worry, but for others, its quite tough. As a friend who has to listen to all the issues that go along with the job search, i.e. interviews, my heart goes out to all of you.
As an out-of-towner, one common 'new years' tradition is that every year there are some girls who make the Big MOVE and uproot themselves to live in Beautiful Boro Park, or Fancy Flatbush, or the Lovely Lower East Side. Sorta like the grass is greener...meaning that's where all the guys are, or so we are told. So, these girls spend their time searching for a job, then searching for apartments, then searching for takes alot of energy and imagine how hard it must be on them. (Just for the record, I know there are out-of-town guys who do the same, so I'm not being gender-specific here) Then again, out of all the girls who end up moving to the Big Apple, how many get engaged right away?
What I don't get it why people think its the "MAGIC FIX"? Sorta like, if it would be a commercial it would sound like this: "Still Single? Stuck in the same boring job and getting nowhere with your life? Feel like being out of town has got you down? If you answered yes to any of the above, C'MON DOWN to the US of A and settle urself in Brooklyn, the heart of the Jewish community where boys/men of all ages and all backgrounds are waiting for YOU to be their lucky wife."
But in truth, I would like to know how all these out-of-towners who come to Brooklyn and live in the basement apartments (aka "the underground") get noticed? How does it work that all of a sudden they have many more dates and meet many more people and shadchanim call them nonstop. Or is it not true. Do they just have their jobs, come home and every so often have a date and then hopefully the next one is the 'right one'. Apparently, rumor has it that another reaon they call it the 'underground' is because that's just what it is-the UNDERGROUND, no onen sees them, no one knows them, but everyone knows there are out-of-towners hanging out in Brooklyn...somewhere...

Monday, August 24, 2009

Height Issues

My friend Estie just instant messaged me with one of the 'famous questions': what does it mean when the say a guy is 5"5?
well, it depends. It depends on alot of things. For starters, who is saying how tall the guy is? Do they know him? Did they see him?
Estie is only worried because of her past experience with height issues. She was told the guy was average height and when he came, she was taller and i mean a head taller. She's not a tall person to begin with, I would even put her somewhere between shortish and average, so you can imagine her disappointment. I'm not putting down short people, as the author of this blog can be categorized as being on the short side, but for some people: height matters.
What I don't get though is, why are people lying? If the guy is short, the girl will find out either way, either by calling people, or when he shows up at the door! So what's the point. Just say it as it is. ok, here and there people will add a few inches, but there is a difference between average height and SHORT!
I've heard girls respond to the question with the following "how tall am I? (shake of hair behind shoulder), well it depends....are we talking with heels on or without? and if we ARE talking heels, are we talking everyday office heels, Shabbos heels, wedding heels? cuz there IS a difference you know..."
Well, I want to advise her to do the right thing. Like 'don't worry, just call a few references and see what they say' or 'maybe it won't be like the last time', but I don't know....after the last date, she was REALLY disappointed. I know that tall guys don't always want short girls and I get that, because I remember I once dated a basketball player almost 7 foot tall guy and I was jogging alongside him to keep up with his pace as he strolled through Botanical Gardens in Brooklyn. Do I think its the worst thing in the world, no? But does that make it correct to make a short boy sound average height by adding a few inches-NO!
What would you do?

The Art of Wearing Color

I apologize for the long delay in posting, but my week has been packed with weddings, B"H and I"ve been too hungover to remember to post. But now that I just got back from a wedding early and sober enough, I'm taking advantage of the moment and posting.

First of all, in response to the comments on the "X marks the spot post", I havta agree with Child אִישׁ Behavior when he says that all girls wear black, mostly becuz its true. Like I said, I had a few weddings this week and a few in the next 2 weeks and I've been shopping to almost every mall in the city and most of the clothes are BLACK! so its really hard to find something OTHER than black. At the same time, an auction would be a cool way to end off the wedding, sorta auctioning off the bachelors...problem is, not every girl brings a fancy mini purse to carry cash in..

While on the subject of girls wearing black at weddings, I'd just like to point out as well that the second most common wedding color (not being any shade of black) is beige, white, or cream. Which if you check out Material Maidel's post, is obviously a color that is outvoted as well, because that is the color usually chosen by the bride & family.

Now that you've knocked out all shades of black and white (including cream, eggshell, grey, silver, charcoal, off-white, etc) that leaves you with either pastels=summer weddings, or darks, burgundy, navy=winter weddings and that is difficult again together as you have to find the right shade of color that the wedding party wants, then the right shade to match the shoes to match the accessories...guys, this is alot of work and research on the girls' part.

So, basically, if anyone reading this post knows of any available weddings outfits that are around and available in all sizes and for a decent price, that is not in the color range of black-white, please feel free to let us know where us girls can buy these dresses so we can start getting noticed from the guys, who can easily point us out of the sea of black dresses!

Friday, August 14, 2009

"X" Marks the Spot

Here's the deal: you go to a friend's wedding and while standing out at the chuppah your eyes wander and land on a cute guy standing out amongst the men. Suddently, you hear a smash, the chosson broke the cup, the men start singing and dancing and you get pushed back into a crowd of women heading towards the hall. Now what? How can you find out more about this guy? How are you supposed to know if he's even single, let alone somewhere in your ballpark? Even if you were to find someone on the men's side that could try and find out, how can you describe what looks like a Jewish guy at a wedding (dark suit, black hat, average height, cleanshaven, glasses, etc) unless he wears a bright orange tie, for example?
There has to be a better way that girls can pinpoint the single guys, and I'm not saying all single men @ weddings have to wear hot pink velvet suits. I'm saying perhaps all men who are single and looking to get married should wear a turquoise tie. But then again, how would you be able to single out which turquoise tie guy you thought was cute? OK, how bout this as an idea? What if all single guys had to wear a number? I'm talking American Idol Audition numbers. That way you can walk over to a friend and say 'hey, check out 45, he's cute, what's his story?' How brilliant is that? They can manufacture special sport jerseys with a 'singles' logo on it and the guy's can choose their number. You can spot out the cool dancers without even having to stand a wee bit over the mechitza!
ok, I know I'm totally outta the league, but c'mon, it would make life MUCH simpler!

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Mama's Boys

As a sequel to my previous post, I think there should be another reality show, but for Frum Girls. In reality, nowadays if we would have a show about Shidduchim, the best part of the entire dating process would it 'Meeting the Future Mother-in-law (aka "MIL")'. Truth is, these days it seems that before even saying 'yes' to a suggested Shidduch, the guy's mom has to approve of the girl, the guy's mom has to see a pic of the girl, the guy's mom has to do all the research, and the guy's mom makes the decision if he goes out with her or not. Of course, I am not referring to all guys-Thank G-d, however, I AM referring to those very special boys who's moms do everything for them and we refer to them as "Mama's Boys". Yes, ladies and gentleman, I'm sure you're familiar with the term. Some of you may even be fortunate enough to have met some of these 'mama's boys' in person. What frustrates me though, are the guys who are already in the Shidduch Parsha for quite a while, and still can't seem to do anything without their moms getting involved. They don't do research, they don't make/take phonecalls, infact they don't even involve themselves in the entire process, other than actually taking the girl out on a date, and even that is only after their mom TELLS them to take the girl out. It's a bit sad actually. I mean, why bother involve these boys at all-might as well just go out with the mom (and THAT would make GREAT reality TV!) and who would want to go out with a guy's mom when she thinks that no one is good enough for her special little boy? So, people out there, viewers of national TV, America-are you listening? Some aspiring producer/director-here's a great idea for a reality TV show where its GIRL vs. MIL, grueling grilling, 20 questions, fashion faux pas' and what not? Tune in next week for "Mama's Boys" the sequel to "The Bachur" 9/8c on ABC.

Monday, August 10, 2009

“The Bachur.” The concept is the same:25 girls vying for the heart of one guy. The twist? They’re all frum!

Hi all,
Got this email as a forward today...enjoy :)

Subject: “The Bachur.” The concept is the same:25 girls vying for the heart of one guy. The twist? They’re all frum!

Do you love the idea of The Bachelor, but are too frum to watch it? Then you’ll love the new show, “The Bachur.” The concept is the same: 25 girls vying for the heart of one guy. The twist? They’re all frum!

Our Bachur this season is Avraham Yitzchak Greenbergsteinkowitz from the holy city of Coffeeneck . He has studied in some of the best yeshivas, is over 5’6” and is a lawyer, doctor AND an accountant. You might ask why such an exceptional Bachur would choose such an unusual method for meeting his bashert. “Well,” says the Bachur, “I have been dating for over 6 months now and still have not been able to find my bashert. After consulting with all 17 of my rabbeim, I felt that this intense approach would be the best way for me to do so.”

The creator of the show is none other than Perry Charshady, who is the mastermind behind other reality TV hits such as “I’m a Rebbe…Get Me Out of Here” and “So You Think You Can Shteig.”

=0 A“The premise of the show is the same as that of The Bachelor,” Charshady explains, “except with some minor differences to make it more appealing to a frum, heimishe, audience.” For example, the bachurettes will face-off with challenges such as the Challah Bake-Off. The bachurette with the worst tasting challah will be sent home. And who will be the judge of something so crucial to building a bayis neeman b’yisrael? “My Imma!” exclaims the Bachur. “She makes the best challah ever, so who better to judge?” Additionally, while on The Bachelor the bachelorettes go home to meet the guy’s family, our bachurettes will have to have a meeting with the Bachur’s favorite Rebbe.

And who are these bachurettes? Well, they are all no larger than a size 4 and went to Strict College for Women where they studied to be a therapist of any type. They also all come from wealthy homes in the Metropolitan area. “I just don’t feel comfortable with out-of-towners” The Bachur explains, “No one really knows what goes on in those places. At least where I’m from, everyone knows each others business so I can really get to know what a girl is like by asking, you know, her neighbors and kindergarten teachers about her.”

From the very first episode, it is clear that these girls are top-notch. After being the first bachurette to be sent home, Chana Shprintza Cohenbaumosky cries “How could he reject me? I mean, I went to NNI – the best seminary in all of Israel !” Later in the show, the second rejected bachurette sobs “Doesn’t he even know who my father is?!” But, not all the bachurettes are so sincerely committed to their seeming “Chesed Each Day” lifestyle. In one episode late in the
season, The Bachur gets his first big shock: “I don’t always wear tights,” confesses one bachurette.

Who is this shiksa posing as an accomplished bachurette? Is she the same one concealing the fact that she has Facebook? Or is more than one bachurette hiding a dark side? “It just bothers me when someone isn’t honest with me,” The Bachur says disappointedly. “I mean, if you talk to other boys or don’t have a white tablecloth on your shabbas table then clearly you’re not frum enough for me, and if you’re not frum enough to be here, then what are you even doing here?”

So what’s the next project for Charshady? A season of The Bachurette, per haps? “No,” says Charshady. “The Bachurette would be almost impossible to create.” Why? He explains: “This is a reality show and if we were to portray 25 buchrim trying to win over one girl, it would not be an accurate representation of reality.” He then adds “And, on a
technical note, the process of find ing 25 eligible buchrim would be an almost impossible feat.”

Well, this season promises to be one filled with scandals: bare legs, Facebook and even (gasp!) Law School ? “It’s always been a secret dream of mine,” reveals a teary-eyed bachurette. But, it also will be packed with fun: hotel lobbies and exotic trips to Chevron! And fear not, there will also be plenty of Tehillim said through bouts of sobbing.
So tune in every motzei shabbas!

Sunday, August 9, 2009

The Webcam Experience

***Attention Out-of-Towners***
Tired of all that traveling in and out of NY for dates? Spending too many hours in the car/ on the bus/ on the train/ on the plane en-route to your destination city to meet your date? Losing too hours of sleep by traveling through the night? Spending too much money on the 'travel' part of the dating experience? Ever get the feeling that you spend more time staring at the highway/train tracks/cloudy sky then you do at your job? Feel like the out-of-town dating issue is bringing you down?
If you've answered yes to one or more of the questions above, then WebCam Dating is for you! With today's modern technology and the internet being so convenient, why not take advantage of the easy accessable, user friendly, messengers services and get to know someone without the hassle of traveling and wasting time.

I feel like this fake infomercial has been running on and on ever since my last few trips to NY, when my dates turned out to be a total waste of time. Yes, pathetic as it sounds, when you spend umpteen hours in a car/on a bus and there's nothing else to do but space out and stare at the windows, it really gets you thinking. Either I can play the date over again in my head and point out all the things that made it so awful, or I can try and see what can be done to make my next date easier and less disappointing. Well, for those of you who like to compete with 'well my date was the worst because...' try and top this one. The last time I went out with a guy, he was an out of towner currently living in NY and even though the Shadchan said he would travel to the city where I live, he had no idea of this and asked if I can come to NY to see him. So, me, being told (as usual) how a-M-A-Z-I-N-G this guy was and how he didn't 'just say yes' to most girls, drove down almost immediately. I got up at the crack of dawn and spent who knows how long in the car. By mid afternoon we met in NY and within 1/2 hour of meeting this guy-i knew he wasn't for me. To cut a long story short, about 2 hours later, I was back in a car, driving the long hours on the highway and made it home by late evening, annoyed, upset, albeit exhausted!
When I came home, a close friend of mine suggested why not make use of a webcam and sorta date a guy in the comfort of your own home, while being able to see him and converse in a chilled out atmosphere without having the hassle of traveling. That way it wouldn't upset either party and they both wouldn't havta waste time away from work/learning, etc. I thought it was a great idea. You don't even havta wear high heels! ok, all kidding aside, what do you think? would u give it a try?

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Happy Tu B'Av!

In honor of Tu B'Av, I think the Frum world should have some kinda 'coming out' party for all singles and by that, I mean a serious debutante ball!! We read about it in books, we see it on tv, so why not EXPERIENCE IT!

Think about it! It's a great reason to splurge on a gorgeous gown (if you don't have any friends/cousins in the near future), get your hair/nails done, look STUNNING! feel good and at the same time, check out all the "available" guys lookin their best without feeling like your gawking, or staring. Almost like a wedding but without a Mechitza.

So except for the ballroom dancing together, it all works out very nicely. Who needs a wedding in order to check out the 'stock' and look good when you get to be a debutante?

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Dating in the Dark

No, I did not come up with this title all by myself, it's from the new TV Show airing on ABC. So a friend of mine told me about this new show and I decided to see what its about (ok, the truth is, there is nothing playing on TV anymore, so just the thought of using the remote was tempting). Some 'brilliant' dude came up with this idea all on his own and turned it into a reality show. In short, there are 3 guys and 3 girls and they only date each other in a dark room where they can't see anything. The audience can view the dates because they use infrared cameras to capture in the dark. At the end, they can ask to see the guy/girl that most appealed to them and the spotlight shows that guy/girl for 30 seconds while the other guy/girl gets to see him in the dark, so the guy/girl in the spotlight can't see a reaction.

Umm, hello?!?! sounds a little familiar? ok, we don't have infrared cameras along with a filming crew coming on dates with us, but admit it=we're all in the dark. This is what blind dating is all about (unless you get setup with a neighbor, friend, or cousin), you get info, you call random numbers aka 'references' who always tell you nice things, then you go out and BAM-the spotlight shines down on your date-that first minute you see them before you leave on your actual date. Only, they can see your reaction. So whether you like them or not, or think they are seriously U-G-L-Y, you keep smiling and continue on...

Wonder who has it better, Frum Singles in Shidduchim or guests on Dating in the Dark?

stay tuned....

Monday, August 3, 2009

I'll Take Manners for $200, Alex

The other night I was chatting with a few friends and the discussion dwindled down to what else? Shidduchim. At first it started with fashion, then to clothes, then to shopping for clothes, then to dieting and working out to fit into the clothes and BAM! next thing I know its 2 hours later and dating stories are flying. One recurring theme that most of the dating stories had in common was "manners", or shall I say lack of.
Now, I just wanna state that this is not a statistic, nor am I claiming war on any 'sides' in particular, I'm just stating the facts as they were in these stories and being that we were all girls, most of the blame was on the (sorry in advance but-) guys.
So here's what I don't understand. These days there are families who bring up their children with the difference between right and wrong. Instilling in them Middos Tovos, how to behave, how to act like a true Torah Jew and above all, to always be a Mentch. Eventually the children grow up and go their own ways to Yeshiva/Seminary and come back as mature individuals ready to make a life of their own. So, WHERE ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Here are just a few examples of the guys that dated friends of mine (author included) and the lack of manerism on their part.
#1) Guy and Girl on date. Guy seems to be very good conversationalist, extremely friendly, funny, outgoing, has the looks, and everything going for him. Then he comes up with a typical NY line and while talking about all the girls in New York, he tells the girl "I can have a girl for breakfast, lunch and supper if I wanted to". Girl looks at guy and tells him, if that's what you want, then go for it and don't let me get in the way.
#2) Girl (from out of town) goes to NY to meet the Guy. They meet in Manhattan at night and have a nice date at one of the many hotels the city has to offer. Guy asks Girl how she is getting back to the airport (to fly back home). Girl laughs nervously and says, she is going to relative in Brooklyn and the relative will take her back. Guy asks how she is getting to Brooklyn, girl responds with you, I hope. Guy faces her seriously and tells her he doesn't have a car. Takes her (and her luggage) on the subway with him. On subway, tells Girl he will not get off at her stop, as people might recognize him and he doesn't want to be seen on date. Tells Girl when to get off subway. Girl walks alone, shlepping suitcase in Brooklyn to relatives house.
#3) Girl (out of town) travels to NY to meet said Guy. Guy takes girl to restaurant, busy the entire time with his smartphone, booking meetings, etc. Guy tells Girl he is so busy he barely has time to date, so he does in between meals, doesn't really eat, but still has a few minutes to chat. Guy drops Girl off 20 minutes later. Why even bother in the first place?

ok, so by now you probably got the point. I just don't get why some people can't be Mentchlech. There are probably some girls out there who do the same. I just don't understand it. I've been through some horrible dates and by horrible, I mean BAD, yet, I've been polite (I hope) with each person, and patient (waited out the 3-4 hour ones, even when I knew after 1 minute it wasn't for me) and haven't treated them badly or rudely. How come some people are just sooo outrightly rude and where are their mothers, who brag about having such wonderful young men? I'd like to have a chat with them!

Saturday, August 1, 2009

3rd Time's A Charm?

About 2 or 3 years ago, around this time of year, it was a beautiful Friday afternoon and I was relaxing at home, taking in the wonderful smell of fresh challah in the oven. I clearly remember this day, not only because it was nice, sunny, with a fresh breeze, GORGEOUS, but because of the sound of the doorbell which changed things. When I got to the door, there was a 'yeshiva bochur', teenaged boy holding a kugel in his hands. Shyly, he mumbled something at the door, handed me the kugel and left. I didn't know what this was all about, I mean, I know the boy and his family, but we're not exactly family friends, nor do we swap kugels Erev Shabbos. As I bring the kugel into the house, I notice a 'Mazel Tov' written on a sticky on top of the foil. Not knowing what to think, I show my mom and then we realize, it was probably meant for our neighbor, whose daughter just got engaged. But there is no "TO:" listed on the sticky, nor is there a name. My mom called up the lady whose son brought the kugel and apologized but mentioned that perhaps the kugel was meant for the neighbor. The lady congratulated my mom and wished her a hearty Mazel Tov. She explained that she had just come back from vacation in Israel and heard I got engaged and she was soo happy that she wanted to send over a, ya, I wasn't engaged. Not even close at the time! Poor woman was so embarassed when my mom broke the news to her. But I guess that's how rumors start.

Why am I telling you this? Simple.

This Friday night I was going for a stroll in the area when I meet a friend I haven't seen in years-literally! She comes down, smiling and we chat and catch up for a few minutes. Then she tells me that she met a little girl on the block who asked her if she knows my family. She said yes. The girl then asked her if she knows me, to which she replied-yes (we grew up together). The girl then smiles and tells her, good, because she is getting engaged. So here is my longlost friend and she is congratulating me and telling her parents. I'm soo confused and telling her this is not at all correct, when another neighbor walks over to my mother and congratulates her on her daughter's engagement, to which my mom looks at me questionably. I just shrugged.

Now, I always joke about how I'll be the last one to know I'm (getting) engaged, but seriously this is twice already....

Perhaps the third time round won't be a rumor...hopefully it'll be true and I'll actually KNOW the guy by then :)