Friday, August 14, 2009

"X" Marks the Spot

Here's the deal: you go to a friend's wedding and while standing out at the chuppah your eyes wander and land on a cute guy standing out amongst the men. Suddently, you hear a smash, the chosson broke the cup, the men start singing and dancing and you get pushed back into a crowd of women heading towards the hall. Now what? How can you find out more about this guy? How are you supposed to know if he's even single, let alone somewhere in your ballpark? Even if you were to find someone on the men's side that could try and find out, how can you describe what looks like a Jewish guy at a wedding (dark suit, black hat, average height, cleanshaven, glasses, etc) unless he wears a bright orange tie, for example?
There has to be a better way that girls can pinpoint the single guys, and I'm not saying all single men @ weddings have to wear hot pink velvet suits. I'm saying perhaps all men who are single and looking to get married should wear a turquoise tie. But then again, how would you be able to single out which turquoise tie guy you thought was cute? OK, how bout this as an idea? What if all single guys had to wear a number? I'm talking American Idol Audition numbers. That way you can walk over to a friend and say 'hey, check out 45, he's cute, what's his story?' How brilliant is that? They can manufacture special sport jerseys with a 'singles' logo on it and the guy's can choose their number. You can spot out the cool dancers without even having to stand a wee bit over the mechitza!
ok, I know I'm totally outta the league, but c'mon, it would make life MUCH simpler!


  1. Yes, and all the girls should wear something other than black too. Us guys who want to look at you from across room don't want to be looking at a sea of black either. Perhaps you ladies should be wearing a number and after the chuppa is over and the dancing is finished we can have an auction.

    Two can play at this game ;)

  2. The answer is obvious: seat the singles at mixed tables.

  3. and please for the love of god, keep the dating couples seated away from the singles... yes they may be friends with many of the singles, but they're a total buzz kill when trying to mix/flirt.

  4. I happen to love the mental image of the guys in hot pink velvet suits, it's VERY amusing. I completely agree with the numbers deal...or even what anonymous says..I mean, cut us singles a little slack and make this a bit easier on us, right?