Friday, July 30, 2010

Advice from the Tall people?

Being that I, SOS, am on the shorter side, I often get these 'oh my gosh! I have the PERFECT guy for you-he's great and he's amazing and it's so perfect cuz he's short' calls from people.
Yes, it is the PERFECT match.
Single Jewish guy
Single Jewish Girl
BOTH are short

I know I shouldn't get insulted by this, but I don't get why this is perfect. Personality? now that's something interesting. Middos-definitely, But to match us up just cuz we're the same size on the growth chart? where's the common ground there (no pun intended).

Now, I have no problem dating short(er) guys-not everything is about height and I'm cool with it.
What I don't understand however, is when I get 'redd' a shidduch and then I'm told 'well, the guy IS a tall boy, so I don't think it will be shayach'.

Now, I've dated guys over 6 foot tall and there didn't seem to be a problem there. Even if they do have longer legs, I'm in pretty good shape to jog alongside the guy to keep up pace. Perhaps the tall guys don't want to date shorter girls, but why is a TALL guy less shayach than a short guy?
I mean, I understand that its harder for tall girls-as most won't go out with boys shorter than them (I said most, as I know a few tall girls who married boys shorter than them). But other than that factor, what's wrong with tall guys dating shorter girls?
The way I see it-SOMEONE's gotta be able to reach into the tall cabinets!

the Rant on Resumes...

Only because I've been getting slack lately from a bunch of different so-called 'Shadchanim'-or what I like to call-'Professional Resume Readers'-I am 'inspired' to write this post.
The last woman I sent my resume to sent me back a page of comments. Yes folks-a full page, with a couple of paragraphs of her 'corrections'.
These corrections included, but were not limited to:
1. Capitalize the word "The" and don't write I'm, but I (space) AM.
2. Don't mention the word TV, as in you want one or don't want one (or as I like to put her words-just ignore the elephant in the room.)
3. Don't be too detailed-it shows too much of your personality-which can come across as too much attitude.

Now, this same woman also had some choice words for me and the chizzuk was basically 'If I would have a son-your resume wouldn't even make it to his pile AT ALL'.
wow-how disappointed I was when I found out she didn't have a son of marriageable age!

and to think that's bad. Another Shadchan I sent my resume to, told me not to put my age as I look much younger and people 'don't have to know right away'.
A third person told me not to put too much detail on my hobbies, whilst another person told me to write down my exact hobbies (e.g. listening to music is too general-write what genre and when you like to listen to each).

So, as I like to tell each individual person: 'you want my resume-I emailed it to you-do whatever you want with it-feel free to cut, copy, paste. As long as I know I sent it the way I wrote it-straight from the heart with no lies.'

To sum it all up-like I said once before, if all these people want to deal with resumes-let them create a template otherwise they can do what a shadchan recently told me last week, and to quote her, she said "I don't deal with papers-I deal with pulses and people".

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Why do they care??

I feel like lately people care-
Don't get me wrong, I think it's really sweet and all and people should take the time and care-but there should definitely be a limit to how much caring one is allowed.
Like, for example, my neighbor, Mrs. D. Mrs. D takes a nice stroll Shabbos afternoon and I meet her on the street and say good shabbos. From that good shabbos comes a 'oh, nice to see you, howz it goin? do you work during the summer? are you going on vacation, etc.'
From there it gets to, 'so you're goin to ___? why? do you have a Simcha?'
and if I'm not going anywhere, it goes like this: 'Why aren't you going anywhere? girls your age should get out more often. now'z the time, especially when you're still single and you can get out. you should be seen, try and find someone y'know' whilst she gently 'nudge-nudges' you in the arm.
And this is only ONE person.
I've been getting the 20 questions from numerous people lately that I just find new answers or use something vague like 'not sure yet, don't have any plans, but lookin into somethin...'
Anyway, I'm beginning to feel like people just wanna know your business and what is going on in ur life as opposed to really and truly caring about you and your well-being.
but that's just my humble opinion....

Friday, July 23, 2010

New Book

It's been a while since my last post....don't worry tho, I'm NOT dating 31 year old Colby. It's just been busy....and I have so much to write that I'm praying there is no sudden storm and the electricity shuts out whilst I'm typing which would really wreck things.
In that case, I'll start with the following:
Last week, my co-worker sent me an email-after hours-and mentioned that she received an email from her relative regarding this new book that came out. The book was about this girl's Shidduch experiences and it was supposed to be comic and at the same time comforting.
Being that I have been 'logging' my dating experiences in true-comic fashion with full details, she assumed that this book was written by me under a pen name. I told her that mine would only be published once I'm engaged and I had a different title and haven't yet come up with a pen name for my unpublished book.
In any case, I haven't read this book, but it sounds interesting and perhaps you may know the author, so why not give it some publicity. It's called "Best of my Worst". If you've already read it-please comment and let us know what you think and is it worth reading?

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Meddling Mother-in-Law or Momma's Boy?

She's taken meddling motherhood to a whole new level.

Geri Brin is so anxious to marry off her 31-year-old son, Colby (pictured), she's launched a Web site where she and other parents can find perfect matches for their single kids.

"I've been fixing my son up for about five years," said Geri, an Internet entrepreneur who works with Colby on the Upper East Side.

"I even set him up with the saleswoman at the upholsterer I used to re-cover my sofa. I figured I might as well cast a wide net to increase his odds of finding the right woman since he's not hitting the jackpot on his own."


Colby is not at all surprised by his mother's latest project.

"One thing about my mom," Colby joked, "she has perseverance. I can picture her on her death bed . . . choking out the words, 'Colby, did you call that girl?' before fading into darkness."

"Literally," he said, "if she hears of a single woman, she'll mention it to me. It's almost like a synapse in her brain that's been conditioned to automatically fire."

Once his mother set him up with her dental hygienist's friend's daughter.

He schlepped all the way to Queens, like "Indiana Jones on a great adventure, hoping for a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow," he recalled

He was greeted by a father who initially slammed the door in his face and a date wearing "makeup two inches thick."

Colby isn't the least bit embarrassed about being fixed up by his mom.

"Look, I'm a Jewish guy who grew up in New York," he said.

"Obviously, I'm a momma's boy. Who are you kidding?"

Besides Geri's personal interest in the site, she believes it's a unique business opportunity.

"I thought, yeah, I'm starting a whole Web site and investing hundreds of thousands of dollars just to fix my son up," she laughed.

So far, she's attracted 20 parents and their adult kids to sign up. One of them is Susan Grant, a merchandising manager for a jewelry showroom. She said the beauty of the site is that it's the moms doing the setting up.

"All the kids have to do is roll their eyes and blame mom for getting them involved," she said.

Starting today, any other parents looking to marry off their kids can play matchmaker by clicking the "Date My Single Kid" link on the Web site


Last Updated: 5:12 AM, July 13, 2010

Posted: 3:32 AM, July 13, 2010

Read more:

Variety is the Spice of Life

So just yesterday, I was fortunate enough to receive a few phonecalls from different people of different communities. Not only that, but the phonecalls were to actually suggest people. Talk about luck. Or, as my mom likes to say 'when it rains-it pours'.
Unfortunately, though, not ONE was on target. What I mean by that is, the callers from yesterday were people who I can't say 'don't know me', but honestly they don't. I've met them all once or twice through random events, weddings, jobs, etc. and the last time we chatted was quite a while back.
So when the first call came through regarding a boy from across the Atlantic, who is 'around the age of...' but wasn't sure exactly of his age, name, or other details, and was more modern, I was a bit hesitant. The caller even went as far as to say it was worth a try, but honestly never met the guy before.
Then came the second call, this one was same idea, but totally other end of the spectrum. A boy who is Chassidish (ultra-orthodox), but "not really, just background, ok, well, really he is, but he would go out with a 'Bais Yaakov type', or girl who is more 'with-it', like your style...' than I was like, no, nu uh, no thanks, honeybunch.
Third call was from a shadchan who had received my resume-but that deserves its very own post, based on their comments to my 'resume'.
So basically, to sum it up, I got a few calls, a few diff. types of backgrounds, religious levels, etc. and not one was even close to what I was looking for.
You're probably thinking 'well, why doesn't SOS just give it a try' or 'she's so picky, so what if it's not exactly what she's lookin for'.
But, I've got to honestly say (again), I've dated all types of men, from a bit lubavitch, to chassidish, to modern orthodox, mizrachi, YU, Yeshivish, heimish, haimish and anything in between. Yes, folks, I started off my 'dating career' very open-minded thinking 'who cares what kinda hat or kippa or yarmulka he wears, as long as he's a mentch. BUT, and yes, a bit B-U-T, because of my open-mindedness at the beginning, and of my experiences dating all these 'types' it has given me more of a sense of what I'm comfortable with, what I can handle and more importantly, what I want in a guy. So, no, I'm not being 'picky'. I just can't understand why all these people keep offering me guys who are EVERYTHING BUT what I am lookin for?!
Any ideas?

Sunday, July 11, 2010

For the 3 weeks

My life, I feel, NEEDS music. In the car, at work, at home, ipods, radios, cds, anything, but music is just what I feel my 'soul' needs.
So, with lack of music for the 3 weeks, I gladly turn to 'acappela' and thank G-d there is a style of music as such.
Lately, I'm getting bored of the same artists, I mean, don't get me wrong, I love Lev Tahor, Kol Zimra, AKA Pella, Maccabeats, etc. just to name a few, but when we live in a society where there is YouTube, I can't help but search for accapella anything on there.
Well, I found this group tonight, it's strange-sorta reminds me of 'The Blue Man Group', but I like their songs choices, from classic old to fairly new, and turns out they are Israeli!

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

What's the Reason?

I was 'redd' a Shidduch a few days back and it happened to be a boy that was offered to me in the past. Sure enough, I checked through my notes-yes folks, in this day and age, with my experiences, I take notes-put everything on paper, from basic info, to details of date and why it didn't work out, etc. Anyway, I check through my notes and see the reason for why I said no was legitimate (atleast, according to me it is).
The Shadchan, who doesn't know me from beans, never met me or spoke with me, asks why it's not 'shayach'.
Now, that's where she crossed the line. See, if I was in a rotten mood, I woulda told her where to do and its none of her business and being that she didn't know me, if I say no, it's no and I don't havta give any reasons, BUT, I was in a polite mood and told her just one of the reasons.
Obviously, being that she knows the guy really well, she didn't feel that was a good enough reason. I told her that was her opinion.
Then-the NERVE, the Shadchan tells me my priorities are 'messed up', yes people, her words were AND I QUOTE "messed up". I told her maybe according to her, she felt that way-but honestly, how dare she criticize me, put me down and tell me I'm messed up-without even knowing a THING about me, other than the fact that I'm single.
So, I shoulda stuck with my original idea which was=tell her where to go.
Everyone is entitled to their personal reasons. We do not have to give a reason, nor should we feel that our reason isn't a good enough reason.
So, being that my reason is definitely legitimate-who's 'messed up' now, huh?

Would ya?

Just a question for you:
Would you give out someone's information, be it telephone number, shidduch resume, photo, etc. without asking their permission first?
Even if, this person if your friend/family, etc.
Even if, you don't know this person, you just found out about them and got info through a 3rd party.
Even if, you feel that the shidduch being suggested is totally shayach.
Why or why not?

Monday, July 5, 2010

and some more emails...

Back on my 'email episodes', sending out resumes, numbers, sizes, etc. and waiting to actually hear back from all these 'so-called Shadchans' to get back to me to:
a) lemme know they actually got my email
b) tell me if they have someone in mind
c) gimme info of that special someone
and whilst reading through my inbox, 2 had already replied within 24 hours. One of which wrote something 'post-worthy', which started off as a 'thank you for your email and first off, we wish you much hatzlacha and for your shidduch to come soon-amen!'
But this same email was followed by something to the sort of the following: 'I like to meet the people I set up first, which is very important as there are alot of chaps out there, even married men who like to 'play around' which is scary but true..'
Anyway, what the heck is that supposed to mean?
She works with sick married husbands?
She is scaring me off?
What do you take from a response like that!?!!