After my post(s) regarding contacting/meeting with Shadchanim in NYC, I received the following email from one my fellow blogreaders. As it was too long to post in the comment section-and I would like to share it with y'all, I'm giving it its own post. So enjoy and hopefully, as much as we all like the 'company' of sharing our horror stories, no one will have to go through this.
In the spirit of doing my hishtadlus, I have just returned from meeting yet another shadchan, and this one has probably taken the cake. To be honest, I don't particularly enjoy meeting shadchanim and repeating my life story 30 times over to people who could honestly care less. But, before I go off on another tangent, here's what went down tonight. So I come to meet this supposedly world famous shadchan who charges the big bucks as they say and I havta tell you I'm SERIOUSLY not impressed.
First off the meeting began with said shadchan catching up on the who's who and what's what of my hometown, as well as telling me the business and shidduch secrets of my fellow 'homies'-how unprofessional and totally unconfidential- though really by now nothing should surprise me, right? Then he ask me a small bit about myself. When I stated my age he was surprised and said here's the direct quote no joke "he could easily sell me for about 5 years younger than that." Whether or not I wanted to do this, which I obviously don't, he didn't seem to care about. In addition to this he told me he never received my e-mail of my resume and a picture of myself as well. I reminded him that I had sent it last week and it was even in my sent items. To this he replied by calling for his partners (because although he has made 100s of shidduchim he can't check his e-mail) who promptly checked and said, that yes of course it was sitting unopened in his inbox. So, first he lies and then lies again. Upon opening my picture he stated that my smile, yes you read that right, my smile was too big, and followed that one up with "when you get engaged you can smile like that, for now send me another one with x,y,z, as requirements. "So to sum it up, he lies, lies and then insults what can be better than that? Probably the fact that after all this he ends of with promising that you can trust him, really, trust someone who tells you all the above, as if! Aside from the fact that if he needs to state that he can be trusted, then he obviously can't! So after this meeting I got to talking with some relatives, it seems that there are many people out there, who look at shidduchim as a market. Apparently we singles are the product and the guys are the consumers. So how can we be better marketed to attract the attention of the consumer? Lie about your age of course, send a photo of yourself at a wedding-cuz that's definitely how you'll appear on a date, etc. I can't understand people who exploit the problems of others for money. All I could think about was how probably when this guy saw me, he didn't really see me, he saw DOLLAR SIGNS! B"h we are people not products, we are not talking business here, but rather the rest of our lives, this is not a catalogue or a custom order that can be filled and paid for in full, we are not of value but rather valuable, right? As I arrived home, feeling somewhere between fuming, and disgusted, I couldn't help but wonder, is this a person that G-d chooses to enable shidduchim? And I'm sad to say this, but a little part of me is praying that whenever the right one does come along it won't be through this guy, because then I'll never hear the end of it!
First off the meeting began with said shadchan catching up on the who's who and what's what of my hometown, as well as telling me the business and shidduch secrets of my fellow 'homies'-how unprofessional and totally unconfidential- though really by now nothing should surprise me, right? Then he ask me a small bit about myself. When I stated my age he was surprised and said here's the direct quote no joke "he could easily sell me for about 5 years younger than that." Whether or not I wanted to do this, which I obviously don't, he didn't seem to care about. In addition to this he told me he never received my e-mail of my resume and a picture of myself as well. I reminded him that I had sent it last week and it was even in my sent items. To this he replied by calling for his partners (because although he has made 100s of shidduchim he can't check his e-mail) who promptly checked and said, that yes of course it was sitting unopened in his inbox. So, first he lies and then lies again. Upon opening my picture he stated that my smile, yes you read that right, my smile was too big, and followed that one up with "when you get engaged you can smile like that, for now send me another one with x,y,z, as requirements. "So to sum it up, he lies, lies and then insults what can be better than that? Probably the fact that after all this he ends of with promising that you can trust him, really, trust someone who tells you all the above, as if! Aside from the fact that if he needs to state that he can be trusted, then he obviously can't! So after this meeting I got to talking with some relatives, it seems that there are many people out there, who look at shidduchim as a market. Apparently we singles are the product and the guys are the consumers. So how can we be better marketed to attract the attention of the consumer? Lie about your age of course, send a photo of yourself at a wedding-cuz that's definitely how you'll appear on a date, etc. I can't understand people who exploit the problems of others for money. All I could think about was how probably when this guy saw me, he didn't really see me, he saw DOLLAR SIGNS! B"h we are people not products, we are not talking business here, but rather the rest of our lives, this is not a catalogue or a custom order that can be filled and paid for in full, we are not of value but rather valuable, right? As I arrived home, feeling somewhere between fuming, and disgusted, I couldn't help but wonder, is this a person that G-d chooses to enable shidduchim? And I'm sad to say this, but a little part of me is praying that whenever the right one does come along it won't be through this guy, because then I'll never hear the end of it!
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