Saturday, December 8, 2012

Can you take a Break from Dating?

This discussion comes up so often that it's almost humorous to me each time someone brings it up. It seems that guys are often 'on break' from dating, or just 'took a break' from dating, etc. But when a girl wants to take a break-how dare she do so?
Does anyone understand how emotionally draining it is, not to mention everything else she has to do. Some girls have to move heaven & earth just to actual GET a date. Others and their parents spend time phoning people each and every night. Some cry as boys keep saying no to their profile/picture. Whilst others are being told by Shadchanim what they should/shouldn't do in order to actual get a guy to agree to take them out on one date. 
One Shadchan once confided in me that it was so hard for guys to agree to take out girls that he sometimes has to offer them cash incentives to take girls out. Yep-I kid you not, and when the Shadchan told me this, I begged me not to ever 'bribe' a guy to take me out (I would happily pay for my own coffee & parking).
So when I read this post it just made me so happy. You see, my motto is, I rather go out with 3 decent guys in an entire year, than date 30 guys who either treat me like trash, are rude, totally not for me (what was she/he even thinking to set me up with someone like THIS), make you feel like they were forced to go out with you, ignore you, make you insane (and not in the loving kind of way), mess up your schedule by rescheduling your date (within 1 hour before), etc.
So yes, it is indeed nice to have a break. I believe most Jewish singles need it for their sanity. Too much dating can get to you. Trust me. We single girls must keep up our appearances, remain polite & mentchlech whilst always being happy (even when deep down it can be sad & depressing and all our friends are busy with their husbands and kids) and content with our lot in life. It can be difficult and it is difficult, so a break from dating should be RECOMMENDED to all. Sometimes you need a breather, you need to step back, enjoy life, forget about your worries and just 'chill'.
Girls are more sensitive and emotional. Dating is much more for them than it is for guys, so please just give them/us a break. Let us take a break once in a while and not get heck for it.


  1. I agree with you that dating quality is better than dating quantity.

    Dating quantity depletes your time, money and emotions.

  2. Brief comments are best, so here is my brief comment:

    Us men hate dating and matchmakers as much as you do.

  3. Great article! I especially loved this point you made.