A few years back (ok, make that more than a few...) when I was obsessed with AIM (AOL Instant Messenger) and Jewish chat rooms, I ran into a situation. You see, back then, there was no myspace or facebook, no twitter or pinterest, and 'shidduch resumes' did NOT exist. The 'facebook' of those days was chat rooms. Me, being interested in learning about them and knowing how they work, but still the cautious, naive, Bais Yaakov girl, started to do some experimenting. I went to a few sites, sat there for a while watching the feed move along, the people entering/exiting the chat rooms, and mostly, observing the chat conversations and learning what the lingo meant (for those who are curious, 'asl?' was the common open line). After some time, the Jewish websites starting boasting their own Jewish chat rooms, with members using the same screen name.
I don't specifically recall the details, but all I know is that from a chatroom, I met this guy. Obviously I wasn't that naive to EVER give any of my information over, not even a hint of my specific details. He provided his screen name and I provided mine and we chatted through AIM messenger. I learned that he was 'of age' and from what he described, sounded like the type of guy I was looking for. We got chatting more and his description started to sound really familiar to a point where I informed him that I believe he was suggested to me in the past. I asked what his initials were, in order to confirm my suspicions and lo and behold they were exactly as I thought! We sent emails back and forth with our information, once I informed him of his name (when he FREAKED out) and this, I thought, was the way I would get the Shidduch to go ahead. In the past, when he was suggested, he kept saying no. When he told me that he had heard about me and was interested, I asked him why he kept saying no? Usually, someone who is interested does something about it, or atleast gives a yes. Sadly, he informed me that his mother was in charge and she decided who he dated or not.
At that point, I was amazed and at the same time disappointed. Here we were, two (young) adults, who have heard about each other, were even suggested for each other, both of us were interested in getting to know each other more, but we were being roadblocked by his mom!?!?! I was more disappointed in him, being the guy who was in college, becoming a professional, supposedly ready to get married, but couldn't stand up for himself, or even to his mom and say 'here's this girl, I want to date her'.
Needless to say, I ended our little chat then. I was very direct in informing him that leisurely chat would get us no where and obviously dating wouldn't happen.
I just don't get it-why can't boys/men speak for themselves anymore? Be a man and MAN up!