Monday, October 15, 2012

The Opposite of Flirting

Is there a word that exists which defines the opposite of flirting? Cuz, that's the sentiment I had when I was in Shul over Yom Tov. Seriously-the one time I decide to go 'shul-hopping', I know I'm too old to do that, but at my stage in the Shidduch game, I figured it might broaden my horizons and perhaps I might lay eyes on a guy who's not in my Shul. Maybe an out-of-towner, maybe a boy who has been in Israel and only came home for Yom Tov, someone's relative/guest, etc. I did the bold move-I went to a few different Shuls over Yom Tov and it was a bit distracting, but I was able to daven properly and linger just a bit, walked home a bit slower than my normal speed-in order to try and check out the guys. 
Well, if no one else can help me, I might as well atleast try and see what I can do to help myself, right?
So, when I got to Shul #3, it was a bit of a letdown as the average age was 50+, but I did meet a few people I knew there, including some married friends of mine who came home for Yom Tov. The thing that bothered me though, was that in middle of davening-say atleast 2 hours after Shacharis, these young guys would walk into the women's section, or 'happen to pass by', or be in the adjoining room in order to have a l'Chaim. I'm sorry to say but it was obvious by their dress, their actions, as well as some of the language (couldn't help overhearing whilst they were cussing a bit loud), that I was seriously repulsed. Give them credit for coming to Shul, I thought, atleast they're doing that much. But the other side of me was thinking, 'they only came to drink, they're not even davening!' what a Chutzpah and how disrespectful to do in a Shul! I continued to daven, kept my head down and purposely ignore the noise, disruption, and constant 'passing by' of these guys. But when one of them deliberately walked right infront of me, for G-d knows what, in the ladies' section, it disturbed me. Here I was, totally repulsed, and not wanting to even be seen/noticed/recognized by these guys. Yes, a girl likes to get noticed, but not in that way, but those types of boys. It was sorta sick the way they looked at me, and the handful of other singles. I was wondering if I should take up nose-picking for the rest of Shul just to ensure they would feel the same as I did-repulsed, and perhaps leave Shul, or never come back to the women`s section, let alone `peek`in. 
So, what is the opposite of flirting, cuz whatever word defines that-is clearly what I was trying to do.
Thank goodness Yom Tov was eight days and there are more than enough Shuls within walking distance. As soon as Mussaf was over-I didn`t linger, nor walk slowly, I ensured my heels were securely on my feet and brisk-walked home, looking at the floor the entire time. Gives me chills to still think of the way their faces looked as they swept over the singles-more like the hyenas eyeing the carcasses in the lion king...


  1. I am sorry to hear that your feelings were hurt.

    Should synagogues ban alcoholic beverages and recite Kiddush on kosher grape juice, to discourage undesirables from attending?

  2. Greetings, is this your only website or you also run some others?