Wednesday, October 31, 2012

10 Questions from a Shadchan

I received this from a friend of mine (thanks Leahle). She got a number for this 'Shadchan' and after speaking with the Shadchan, was told to complete this form.
What do you think of it?

1. Marriage- your reasons
    What are the top 3 reasons you want to get married?
2. Marriage- his/her reason
    What are the top 3 reasons you think your future spouse/date wants to get married? (not your reason)
3. The other person -the
    What are the top 3 things you are looking for in your spouse?
4. The other person -the
    What are the top 3 things you DO NOT want your spouse to be or do?
5. Children
    Do you want to still have children? If yes, how many? and Are you capable? How much time after the marriage would you start having children?
6. Anger
    What are the top 3 things that will get you angry? What do you do when you get angry?
7. Trust
    who are the 3 people you trust? (i don't want the names, just who they are, ie; parent, friend, etc.)
8. Financial
    Explain your approach to the "money" aspects of marriage. ie; who is responsible for earning it? seperate checking accts? etc.
9. Dating Laws and expectations?
a) How many dates and how long in time do you think one should date before it can be considered serious?  
(optional) b)  Do u allow touching, kissing, hugging and even sex? Are u expecting it?
10. Roles
      What is your general opinion of the roles of men and women? Who should be the boss?


  1. I hope you don't mind, that after reading this post, and laughing thru most of it, I decided to actually answer it, in a way to hand back to that shadchan.
    (All in jest of course, not my actual answers.)

    1) Three reasons to get married: Won't have to date anymore. Can borrow money from her. Boobs.

    2) Three reasons she wants to get married: To cook for me. To clean for me. Babies.

    3) Three things I'm looking for in my spouse: Clean nails. Good attitude. Boobs.

    4) Three things I don't want my spouse to be or do: Spit. Curse. Secretly be a man.

    5) I do want to have children, preferably 2 or 3, if my wife can handle it. I don't know if I'm capable, you'd need to ask a tissue. And hopefully I won't have kids for at least 9 months after marriage.

    6) Three things that will get me angry are: If someone pokes me. Someone hits me. If I stub my toe.
    When I get angry, I poke people, curse, and stub my toe.

    7) Three people that I trust are: Me. Myself. And Dupree.

    8) In terms of money, I plan to keep making it. And whatever she makes, she'll give me, and if I'm nice, I'll buy her a sweater for her birthday.

    9) It is serious if I go on a date, because she is lucky enough to have a little of my time.
    Yes, I allow touching, kissing, hugging, and even sex, and it is of course to be expected. If she doesn't put out, she must be a prude.

    10) I am the boss in the house. She is the boss in bed.

  2. These “10 Questions from a Shadchan” are the best I have ever seen. Ignore the previous message from "Wondering Minds,"

    They are much more logical and less offensive than other similar questionnaires.

    You cannot imagine how offended and discouraged I was to see a recent shidduch questionnaire which asked:
    [1] Are you a baal teshuvah?
    [2] Are your parents baal teshuvahs?
    [3] Are your grandparents baal teshuvahs?

    The first question was fair.
    The second question irritating, but understandable.
    The third question offended and discouraged me; damn them!

    1. Well...excuse me ~Mr. Cohen~, ignore me?

      Why would you ignore me while I try to take a sarcastic look at something that seemed ridiculous to me.

      Lighten up.

  3. Wondering Minds, ask your local Orthodox Rabbi to teach you about leitzanut; what it is, and why it is wrong to do it.

    1. If that is the case, I think you need to ask your LOR about "Shtus", and get off the internet.

  4. BTW - SOTS - I ran into this today, in a completely different locale:

  5. WM-this is great. Can I have your permission to use it as it's own post?

    1. Lol, absolutely!
      ~Although it may be a little, what's the word?, oh yeah..."leitzanut".~