Thursday, September 13, 2012

New Year's Resolution

I was just thinking about a guy I dated a few years back....well not him per se, but more like the story of him. You see, I don't quite remember who set me up and why I agreed to go out with him and more likely what the person who redd the shidduch was even thinking! But, one thing stayed in my mind about the whole date and that my fellow readers, was his story.
People always remember a story. Go to a shiur-if it's longer than 30 minutes, most people willy only remember 1 part of it, or the joke the speaker started with, or a touching story. 
Well, this guy had his story. I dated him just once. It was quite obvious from the moment he appeared at the door that this was in no ways shayach, but we went out, it was nice and I was home 2 hours later. A few weeks after our date, I happened to meet someone mutually involved in the shidduch with this particular boy. She told me he had just gotten engaged and then went into the details.
It seemed as this guy was the last single guy of his class. When the second to last guy got engaged/married, this boy's classmates got together and decided they had to do something. They all took it upon themselves to find him a girl so that he can join the rest of his classmates in the 'married' stage. Lo & behold, one of the classmates wife had a friend who had a niece, whose sister.....well, you get the drift. Shortly after setting him up, they got engaged.
Moral of the story: Think of your single friends or, you never know where a shidduch will come from, so think of your single friends.
I always thought that when my classmates would get married, things would be easy-they have husbands who have friends/cousins/family/co-workers/chavrusas the same age, they have a wife who knows you, etc. To be nice, I havta say quite a few of my classmates have indeed set me up over the years, which was sweet & thoughtful. I guess people get busy, they have things taking over their life, like new lifestyle, place, job, family, etc.
So dear readers, I think the new year's resolution for most should be;
If you are married & have single classmates, THINK OF them. HAVE them in mind. NO-do not tell them you are thinking of them and have them in mind. Do not pity them and mention that they are in your tefilos/ challah baking/30 day tehillim group. Instead, sit down and spend 5 minutes going through all the guys you know who are single. You never know, something might just click. Mention to your friends, at your groups, at Simchas, to people you know about your single friends-help spread the word & do some PR for them. A small mention of a name, or that you know the girl might go a long way for a boy's friend/ family/cousin/workmate and might just make them agree to a shidduch because of a mutual person. Without you mentioning that-nothing would've ever happened.

If you are single-keep davening, keep smiling, keep your head up and be proud of who you are. Keep busy, keep doing Chessed, keep a positive attitude. Try and network, meet new people, get together with friends. Call your classmates, friends, family. Renew old ties. Keep faith. Your zivug is out there, he was set aside especially for you 40 days before you were born. You will find him, but hopefully he will find you first :)

May we all only speak/hear of Simchas. May we have the zechus of making a shidduch or more, or being part of a shidduch, or even mentioning something which may start a shidduch!


  1. The man in your story got married because he was fortunate enough to be FFB; if he would have been a Baal Teshuvah or gair, then nobody would have helped him get married.

    Or is it bad manners to remind FFBs about the existence of Baalei Teshuvah and sincere gairim and their shidduch problems, because FFBs are not interested in hearing about them?

  2. In a few hours, it will be Rosh HaShanah. May HASHEM grant all Shomer Shabbat Orthodox Jews their desires for: healing, health, wealth, happiness, shidduchim, shalom bayit, success, teshuvah, mechilah, long and productive life, Gan Eden and everything good.

  3. amen! did u hear of ?? tell ur engaged friends to do it!