Sunday, November 18, 2012

Shidduchim Groups

I have a certain opinion of the so-called Shidduch groups that have formed over the past few years. I won't share it on this blog, just in case I insult anyone, but let's just say I am not too fond of them. Yes, I have had to succumb and meet with them, speak with them, hand over numerous copies of my resume as well as photos. Each time I make a call/send an email, I am asked to send my information over and remind them every so often, yet how often do they actual set me up?!?! probably close to nill. I can go through all my sent items and see the numerous (one-way) correspondence with these so-called groups. I just don't get if I'm the only one who feels this way? Did anyone ever find them successful?
I was in touch with a specific group recently, informing them that I am available for dating and traveling if need be. I got an automated response to the likes of 'pay up, complete the form and it will get sent to our system, etc.' I was shocked as I had paid up the first time round, and I did fill out their form, etc. but in the past, I have always corresponded with one 'shadchan' from their group and now she sent an automated email? I had decided to play it down and sent a polite message asking if it would be possible to meet with the group (suggesting I travel down for them and provided them with dates, weeks in advance when I would be able to travel to meet). I had not heard back from the group for almost 3 weeks since that email. 
So, I did the next thing-I phoned. There was no answer. I left a message that I had not heard back. This is what happened:
The next day, I received a call from the 'shadchan', who was really upset to say the least. She explained that now all emails go through the 'secretary', who has her own email address. I was asked to send my info to the secretary, and was read my rights by phone. I listened patiently and when she was done with her 'telling-me-off', I politely informed her that I had sent her the email, as I had always sent only to her in the past and to which she, herself had responded in the past. She was dumbfounded.
Needless to say, I still have not heard back, even upon suggesting creative ways to meet/speak, not one of the people in the group made any effort to call, or even try to arrange anything.
So much for these Shidduch groups.
Am I the only one who thinks they are just for a group of yentas to meet up once a week for coffee?


  1. Oh, sweetie, I have never bothered with those. If my grandparents managed to get married in the old country without cell phones, I shouldn't have to torture my dignity, no?

    Do not bother.

  2. Where does the Talmud or Shulchan Aruch teach that matchmakers are the ONLY valid way for single Jews to meet each other?

    So far as I know, they never say that.