Being a girl, I always havta hear 'nu??? why aren't you married? you MUST be picky, huh?' or 'stop being so picky...no one's getting younger you can't afford to be picky', etc.
and personally, I don't think I'm picky, but everyone can 'assume' whatever reason they wish for why I'm not married. In the end, it's all in the Hands of Hashem and no matter what reason people come up with-it doesn't really matter.
But, I always got thinkin and it did always bug me that people think becuz I'm single, I MUST be picky!
In the interim, boys have lists, boys can decide not to go out with a girl for whatever reason, and they will never be considered picky, because in this ShidduchWorld we live in, boys can afford to be picky, being that they have lists and lists of girls, so saying no to one girl for whatever reason won't 'cut off their supply' of girls, so to speak.
Recently, I was 'redd' this boy and of course, they needed an answer within a day-actually, a day was being waaaay too nice=they wanted an answer within a few hours. I tried to do research really quickly, but you can't always get through to your own references, let alone someone else's references at a time that you feel is good-it all depends when the references are available to speak. In the meantime, whilst I was working on finding more info based on the minimal info which the Shadchan gave me verbally, I asked the Shadchan to please try and get some more basic info, or atleast some kind of resume.
When I finally got the information from the Shadchan (definitely past my few hour deadline to give an answer), I felt sooo much better, as I realized I would NOT be dating this boy and I didn't need info from any references-it was all there on his 'resume'. And this is another reason I feel that boys have the upper-hand, no matter how superficial, materialistic or picky a guy is-he IS because he CAN be and people won't even bat an eyelash.
The guy being redd to me wrote what kind of girl he was looking for-basically it was 95% physical (us girl, understand that physical attraction plays a big part and guy's usually havta be attached-BUT) down to describing in detail what type of girl he wanted, from hair to eyes to skin color, to body type, etc. Funny thing was-how can someone NOT BE EMBARRASSED to write that! AND-he wasn't even goodlookin (yay! facebook searches) to even ask for that, I mean talk about Chutzpah!
So, even though the guy said yes, because somehow he saw a photo of me and I 'fit into his criteria of looks', I still think this guy is sooo shallow to have written that on his resume for all to see, especially with his looks, and not have any shame.
who's picky now?!