Brace yourself folks! this is gonna be a ranting session..
The other day I got a call from someone which was basically what I would say, after hanging up the phone, was a therapeutic form for the caller to vent and get things off her chest.
According to her: she probably thought she was doing me a favor and that her job in life was to give advice or put her advice ON people.
Here's how the conversation basically went.
She was at a Simcha where she met a few other mutual friends and they were discussing none other but ME (wow, and I was wondering why suddenly I got an attack of the hiccups!). In any case, these people all decided that I was 'throwing away' Shidduchim and being too picky and saying no to everything coming my way. At the same Simcha, they happened to all notice this cute guy and made it their business to find out about him. Turns out they also made it their business to find out that I was 'redd' to him but we never date-automatically noting ME as the bad one, cuz if he's a nice cute guy according to all these 'professional advice-giver' yachnes and he's single, then I must be crazy, especially since, according to them as well 'I was throwing away all these great shidduchim.'
OK, that was there rant, which this one woman took it upon herself for who knows how long to tell me off about. Now for my side.
This woman, I know personally didn't take 'just any' suggestions for her kids, who are mostly all married off. She would check into EVERY little detail and even travel to meet the girls her sons went out with. In any case, she also doesn't live in my house or with me and doesn't know my personal dating life. She made THINK she does, but, she doesn't. Now, regarding this guy at the Simcha=ya, I was redd to him and even though it wasn't exactly what I was looking for, I decided to give it a try and was ready to go out. However, it was the GUY who didn't commit to even a date. So, the fact that all these people decided I must be wrong, really, p*ssed me off.
Do they know the entire story? obviously not
Do they know me well enough to know what goes on in my life? nopes
So, people shouldn't ASSUME that because everything looks so great on one side, then obviously its the other side that has the issues.
ok, I'm done now. thanks y'all for listening.
I hear ya - I don't know if people ever heard of "dan lekaf zechus" but HELLO, single girls will always be judged more harshly than boys. The rationale behind pushing and belittling the girl usually being that we have less rights to be "picky" since there are sooo many more boys than girls out there. Newsflash: that's a total falsehood - the worldwide male/female ratio is 107 boys to 100 girls. It's just that it's easier to find quality girls than boys!!
ReplyDeleteHappened to me too - got it from a former neighbor that I never spoke to in my life. He starts telling me not to be so picky - a man who barely knew of my existence.
ReplyDeleteI like Anonymous's numbers. One never hears that a boy is being too picky. Translation: girls are "supposed" to be desperate. If you're not, then there's something wrong with you.
Girl power!