Monday, November 1, 2010

Who Needs a Shadchan?

So this one is definitely worth a post!
One of the various Shadchanim I deal with is a 'fly-by-night' personality. She's a GREAT person and she made numerous Shidduchim, but I find that she doesn't really do research-she just calls with a name and you do your work. She is also a bit behind the times and whenever an email is required I do it for her myself, e.g. boy's mom wants her to send my stuff=I email the boy's mom directly.
Anyway, last time she 'redd' me a Shidduch-it didn't go too well at all. Now I'm more 'careful' and look into her suggestions a little more carefully...
So, she called and told me she has this great guy, she spoke with him a few times and he sounds exactly like the kinda guy I'm lookin for. At the same time, she didn't have a resume for him but she told me he would send this to me shortly. uhh, no emails, no spam or junk mail and mainly-no resumes at all. Days pass and still nothing. Eventually, she calls and doesn't understand how email works (still today!) and tells me not to worry=she leaves me a message that she gave the guy my number and he will call me to give him his info and I can take it from there. UH=HELP! I don't know NADA about this guy, yet she gave him my number and then what? what if it is TOTALLY not shayach!? do I tell him 'no' on the phone? so, I do what most girls in my situation would do=I PANIC!....until the phone rings...
The guy calls and seems all calm. He tells me he was told by the Shadchan to give me his email addy and password so I can get to his emails to retrieve his resume in his saved drafts. AWKWARD much?! So he tells me to go to his gmail account and look under drafts and lo and behold is his pdf with his photo. Basically as he's waiting on the line, I'm looking at his info and right away it was totally not Shayach at all, but he assumed otherwise and basically asked if we're good to go.
OK-by now I was ready to disown the Shadchan. I mean, what was I to do?
What would YOU do, if you were the one who got this call?
(will notify what I responded in a separate post-after your comments)


  1. Sell his password to the "I'm in London and lost my ticket and wallet" scammers.

  2. Oh my. Someone really needs to brush up on her shidduch system.

  3. I think both the shadchanta and him are out of their minds. No wonder she is working with him. I'll bet no other shadchan thinks he is worth their time (even if he is GUY!). He is a loser and so is she. Lose her number.

    Do either of them have half a brain? If they did they would not put you in such an incredible awkward situation.

    I hope you told him you have to get more info, or whatever, to get him off the fon and never called the shadchan back.

  4. wouldn't giving him your email address (or a temporary address) be better than letting u into his email acct!??!?! was his password anything embarrassing, or did he change it for u? can u still get in?

    that story is ridiculous!!

  5. Oh man, that's really bad. I've also had shadchanim who have no idea how to use e-mail. It's almost hilarious. In a crying kind of way.

    I know I'm late...
    but I would just go on the date. Better to go on a date for a few hours than to hurt his feelings.