I went out with a guy years ago. I thought he was 'the one', even though we only went out a couple of times. He was really great, had a wonderful personality, had spunk, drive, sense of humor, well-mannered, sweet and kind, etc. He also was 'easy on the eyes', but really it was the personality, middos, the way which he acted during our dates that I really enjoyed. The information we discovered during our 'research' was only good things and this made it even more exciting for me....
Until he said 'no'.
Was I heartbroken? No. We didn't date long enough for us to even get close, but just enough for me to get a glimpse of his character and to allow me to enjoy it.
At that point in time, he had mentioned to me that Kiruv was his life and he intended to go BIG TIME into Kiruv. I was OK with that, I mean, everyone should be allowed to do what they enjoy, and if they CAN do what they enjoy, what a perk! I have friends who went to university for years and even though they enjoyed their profession, they hate their jobs. I have friends who quit their so-called 'dream jobs' when it drained them and work as something less 'professional sounding' but enjoy their workdays.
In any case, recently I met this guy from years back. He had gotten married, has kids, etc and, yes girls, he still looks great. What struck me as odd, but really shouldn't is that he has moved since. No, he's not in Lakewood, or Brooklyn, or in the Holy Land.
He moved to Atlantic City!
Am I jealous? Somewhat. But I can't imagine actually living in a place like that. I'm not extreme enough to say 'it's prust' or 'its tumah' or 'its gambling and untznius' but all I can think of it is this a place to bring up a family? Of course, people in Kiruv take this risk. They go out and give their all for this to help others come closer to Yiddishkeit. This guy for SURE, is the real deal. He puts his whole heart and soul into everything-I saw his passion for Kiruv then and I still saw it now. He's a frum guy and if he wouldn't have told me he lived there, I would've thought him living in Lakewood or something. He must be strong enough that all the 'tumah' or whatever you wanna call it (gashmius lifestyle?) wouldn't get to him.
I just can't help but think-would I be strong enough to live in such a place? To bring up my children in a city/community like that? To be surrounded by all this?
Kudos to all those Kiruv people out there and Shluchim-what you do, know one can imagine! Picking yourself up and living in Yehupitzville to help others.
If I was asked now, by a guy to move some place like that-to be honest, I don't think I can handle that. I'm not 'strong' enough and would also like to bring up my children in a more frum environment.
Would you take the gamble like this guy did?