Sunday, August 19, 2012

Doing Dor Yeshorim

Every 2 years, in my high school, Dor Yeshorim comes in for one day to take blood tests for the two oldest high school grades. Of course, each time they come, girls end up crying, fainting, vomiting, etc. Personally, these things don't freak me out-I skip class to 'support' the friends and classmates, watch them take blood, hand out tissues and orange juice, etc.
Some schools don't have this, and recently I've been informed me that not all boys' Yeshivos do either. In fact, the reason for this post is Gitty's idea. See, I didn't think much of the test. I mean, I know it's a serious thing and there are many different things they check for, etc. and you just call the number, give them your number and they tell you 'yes' or 'no' when you're ready to get engaged. Gitty knows I have a blog and called me to tell me this story that happened to her cousin and to post this, as people don't realize how it can affect them. Her cousin had begun dating recently and was set up with a girl who he really liked. All was going very well and smooth and they were ready to get engaged. He, being a boy, had never taken the Dor Yeshorim, so he went straight from his date, to take the blood tests. Apparently, it takes about a week to get results. In the interim, he kept dating the girl, whilst waiting for results in order that they can get engaged. The girl's family kept putting off the official engagement, saying they first were waiting for results of Dor Yeshorim before continuing on. The boy, however, decided they should still go out and was literally ready to propose as soon as the news came in. They continued to go out and right before he was going to propose, Dor Yeshorim had confirmed that they were not a match. Needless to say, Gitty's cousin & his family were devastated. I can only imagine what the girl went through as well. Imagine, thinking you're getting engaged, only to have everything suddenly end like that. 
Personally, I've never heard of Dor Yeshorim turning out bad. I just assumed, that you call up, you get 'okayed' by them and get engaged. Of course, there is always a chance it's not a match, but I always thought it was like 0.0001% chance. So when Gitty told me this story, I was a bit freaked out. She then went on to say that she's heard this a few times before, but this time, because it was her own cousin and she knew it was so close to the engagement, that it hit home hard. 
Therefore, dear, readers, as a favor to a friend, and also in terms of informing all those of you, to avoid last minute heartache in the future, (especially as these days it's so hard to find a decent guy and then finally falling for him and finding out it's not a match), make sure you go get tested at Dor Yeshorim, and at the same time, even if you feel like it's too early on in the dating, but there might be a bit of potential, call them then, find out then-like I said, it takes about a week just to get back to you with an answer, so if it is not shayach by the time you find out-ok, all you wasted was a phone call, but if you are still dating and you find out-you know it's better to know sooner than later.
p.s. after I hung up with Gitty, I called my friend, Ruthy, who told me that in her family, they always ask for the Dor Yeshorim number upfront before even going out, as they had bad experiences as well. This way it's done early enough to know if one date is even worth it.
Hoping no one will have to go through any bad news with this...


  1. I've been told that approximately 1% of potential matches receive a "No" from Dor Yeshorim. Therefore, yes, it is very important to check Dor Yeshorim early.

    As to the entire modus operandi at Dor Yeshorim, I have my own take on things. There are some matches which they call off due to concerns of children being born with diseases which are not necessarily fatal.

    I would highly recommend reading the first chapter of, "The Troubled Dream of Genetic Medicine" by Keith Wailoo. It was required reading for a class of mine in university, and I must say that the arguments concerning Dor Yeshorim seem pretty solid.

  2. Genetic testing is a MUST, and it is highly advisable to check Dor Yeshorim numbers either before or shortly after starting to go out to avoid issues like the story you wrote about here.

    I have a thorough post that summarizes the ins and outs of genetic testing, both closed (Dor Yeshorim) and open (NYU). It can be found here: