Sunday, July 31, 2011

The What's 'UnderThere' Underwear Debate

Lately, my friends have all caught on to my lingerie fetish. OK, so I'm a bit obsessed. OK, there's no way I will walk into a Victoria Secret without walking out empty handed. Yes, I love PJs and all that goes with it. But hey, everyone has their fetish and as long as I'm wearing whatever it is 'under there' then its all tznius and it's a win-win situation.
Whilst speaking to a newly married friend and telling her about my new buy, she said to me 'SOS-you better buy stuff now, cuz after you get married, you ain't gonna have the time to even think about buying such stuff.' I gotta admit-that sorta scared me. I mean, when it comes to something that you like, something that makes you happy, or what I like to call 'retail therapy' how can you be sooo busy, that you won't have time to shop for something as basic and necessary as underwear?
At the same time, another one of my friends had mentioned that she wears really racy stuff. I must admit, I was shocked, I mean coming from her, but if that's how far she'll go in terms of being racy, then so be it. After all, no one will ever know (except her cleaning woman who does her laundry and her hubby-to-be).
What I don't get is the people who tell you that you shouldn't be into all this stuff. Instead, you should be going to your local Wal-Mart or something of the sort and buying Fruit of the Loom tighty whities. I just don't get it people. Everyone has their own style, be it hair, accessories, clothing, makeup, or just a 'look', so what's wrong with a lingerie style? It's not as if we're advertising it? It's not as if it shows or anyone can see it? Why would it bother people? If anything shouldn't we be comfortable and feel even a bit proud/confident with our so-called 'boldness' in personal taste of lingerie fashion? Shouldn't that be a step towards the 'we're ready to get married, so we can get more awesome lingerie for our hubbies to appreciate as well', or is that not?
(although I havta admit, there should be Halachos against the really racy stuff-anyone say lacy red thongs?)
Aside from that, I also have it on good authority that those of Sefardi origins have bridal showers where their future mom-in-laws actually buy them an entire trousseau of expensive lingerie. How much more embarrassing is that? A single gal, in a room with all her friends, her mom's friends, cousins, relatives, etc. accepting something as personal as lingerie from her hubby-to-be's mom?! Now if that is not traumatizing, what is?
The way I see it is-if they can't see it, so be it. Buy it, wear it, be happy.


  1. Lol! I totally agree with you! Have your lingerie fettish and enjoy it! There's absolutely nothing wrong with it and in my humble opinion is even something holy because I'm sure your hubby to be will be quite happy with this hobby of yours. Needless to say, if it's important to you, I'm sure you'll find time to do some shopping, even if you have to go so far as to hire a babysitter to do so ;)

  2. Considering how gaches shouldn't be a public conversation to begin with . . .

  3. Ok, I definitely should not be commenting here, but can I just say... ;-) (that was intended to creep you all out, it's my well known talent).

    My real comment was wear what you want, it's weird that anyone is telling you what you should be wearing unless they can see you wearing it. Anyway, I'm pretty sure your future husband will not complain, if he does, you might wanna have him checked by a professional.

  4. ROTFL at BJG's comment.

    I don't see anything wrong with it and agree that it's good to feel confident with your body... I think many frum girls are made to feel self-conscious about their private parts/lingerie in general and covering up with uber-modest/conservative undergarments digs them further in the hole. Just another thing to be nervous about before marriage. Being comfortable in your own skin is a good first step. I love cool underclothes :-) But not to the point where it's a fetish :P

    I've been to ashkenaz mainstream bridal showers where friends bought giftcards or stuff from Victoria's Secret... depends on the girl lol, some get more embarrassed than others. I think it's weird when it's from the mother-in-law though, because then it's very obvious that she wants to make sure her son is sufficiently satisfied. TMI ewww

  5. I've been to many sefardim bridal showers where the girls get baskets and baskets of lingerie (and shoes!!!). i haven't noticed anyone embarassed by it because they are used to it.
    So when one of my sisters got engaged (she is ashkenaz and married a lakewood learning boy), my sisters in law, sisters and mom organized a little party for her where we all bought her some racy underwear. She loved it!!!
    I cannot wait :)

  6. PL-'gaches' just made me literally Laugh-Out-Loud
    BJG-luv your last line. Especially if he's gonna be married to me.
    Corti-Couldn't agree with u more. I'm thankin my lucky stars I ain't sefardi (wouldn't want any type of future m-i-l buyin my personals!)