Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Just 'cuz we're BOTH single, doesn't mean we're the SAME!

My bestie & I are often 'redd' to the same guys. Well, we ARE besties, so I'm sure there's some kinda similarity between us, aside from both of us being Frum, single, fun, gals looking for our future hubby. Also, we are both looking for the same type of boy. Notice I said same type and not same because, whilst we may be similar, we are obviously 2 separate individuals and there is a set zivug for every person, so whilst we may both be looking for college/working guys, not every college/working guy is the same.
There are different backgrounds, different minhagim, levels of Frumkeit, personalities, hobbies, etc.
So, although you may think that all girls talk about the guys they date-wait a sec. ok, all girls probably talk about the guys they date, but even among my closest friends, we will talk about our dates, our horror stories, etc. but not mentioning names of course. The only time a name would come up is to ask if they were redd or dated the guy and can give some info/input, or if they might know someone who knows the guy (obviously dependent on the guy's info, e.g. city, shul, family, etc.) This is how we know we've been suggested to and/or dated the same guys.
Point being, recently I was suggested a guy and nothing came of it. In fact, I didn't even go out with him as we never heard back, which in my book simply means-they ain't interested.
A few weeks after, my friend called as she knew I had relatives living on the same block as the guy she was redd, and whilst she mentioned the name for me to ask my relatives, I realized it was the same guy and gladly gave her all the good info I heard (most of which was from that same relative!)
Somehow there was a mix-up and suddenly we both got calls back from our different shadchanim that the boy was interested in us=at the same time! Strange. Well, it came time to sorta break the news to our parents as to what was going on-like was he planning on double dating or what? So our parents called the shadchanim and explained the situation. The shadchanim spoke to each other and decided that whichever one of us was really interested in him, can have him, but we should decide on our own.
How ridiculous is that? Especially not even knowing the guy yet. Suffice it to say, we both pulled out, it just wasn't fair and was the most insane conclusion to a confusing situation.
Perhaps the guy thought we were the same person?

No comments:

Post a Comment