Wednesday, May 2, 2012

A Decade of an Age Difference

So there's this new fad that I heard about which is that guys are willing to date girls 10 years younger than them (except the 21/27 year olds I assume).
I have a friend, Shira who was suggested to a guy more than a month ago. The Shadchan called her, asked if Shira heard of him, she didn't and told her to Redd it to the boy first.
The the Shadchan asked for her resume and said she would get back to her with an answer.
A few weeks passed and  Shira called the Shadchan to which she asked for a photo of her.  Shira sent one.
Again, time passed along and Shira then received an email from the Shadchan asking for another photo of her.
Eventually after more than a month of not hearing back YET, Shira called the Shadchan and explained that she obliged with all the requests and even after sending all the info, resumes, etc. and letting about 5-6 weeks pass by she still didn't even get an answer.
The Shadchan replied that the boy heard that Shira had a cousin who was 10 years younger (than him) and single and said he would prefer the cousin (based on age).
When Shira told me this story I was upset. Here is a great girl, with amazing middos, a caring and responsible individual, put-together, pretty, skinny, Frum, considerate from a great family and because she was like 2-3 years younger, you would think its great. But no, Mr. Single Guy has a preference and chucks her aside for a girl 10 years his junior!

Then I heard from a Shadchan that she has guys who are in their 40s who are requesting girls in their 20s or only early 30s and not older. She was surprised at the chutzpah and 'pickiness' of these men. They are well in their forties and think a single girl in their 20s would even hear about it?
Of course, don't get me wrong, there ARE exceptions to the rule, but c'mon.
And we girls get the brunt of it, I mean after being stepped on, pushed aside and prodded with questions and requests, we merely get pushed to the back of the closet for something more fresh and new (a girl straight outta sem, perhaps?).
Sheesh! and still we are accused of being picky!


  1. Both sides are equally the 17 y/o HS Graduates who marry 28y/o working men, because they think that's what's right for them.
    It goes both ways, in this case, the guy may have been wrong for saying it like that, but girls have the same exact flaws.

  2. Guys just want fresh eggs....

    1. I think that's true for the 40 y/o's looking for late 20s/early 30s.

      As for late 20s looking for teens...that's just a preference. I think up to five years younger is acceptable, while in the 20s.

    2. I dunno. A guy i know (23 at the time) asked out a 17 year old girl. I dunno, i found it sooo wrong.

  3. This seems a bit creepy to me.

  4. I went out with a guy who was probably ten years older than me or so, and he said no because he found me too young for him (I was 25 then). There is hope!

    Delusional men are victim to karma like the rest of us.

  5. Sounds like a shadchan is a little bit crazy. She should not have told Shira all of the details. This guy sounds like an idiot. The reason elder guys asking for 20/30s so they still would have a family.

  6. I am a BT in my 50s looking for a girl in her 30s. When I was younger I was unable to start a family. I don't consult shadchans any more. They just don't get it.

  7. For better or worse, male DNA programs men to seek the youngest females possible.

    Every man has this programming coded into his DNA from before the time he was born, regardless of his: nationality, religion, language, intelligence or wealth level.

    For example:

    “Childhood ended early for upper class girls, who could, and often did, marry as young as 12. Their husbands were usually in at least their mid 20s, but they might be quite a bit older, even in their 50s.”
    SOURCE: page 61 of Everyday Life in the Roman Empire by Kathryn Hinds, year 2010

    Male DNA has not changed since then, sorry about that.