Saturday, April 28, 2012

When 1 Photo is NOT Enough

So, I ranted more than once on this blog about sending in photos to shadchanim, boys, etc. and how it's sorta demeaning after a while, but I guess this is the system and hey, a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do. But lately there are more issues with sending a photo.
As of recent, the complaints from shadchanim has been as follows:
-In addition to the photo sent, can you please send a close up
-Also, do you have a full length
-Do you have one of you in a more casual setting
-The photo is cut off a bit, do you have one of only you so its more clear
and the list of 'specifics' goes on and on...
Am I nuts, or does it seem like lately we need to provide a photo album of the past year with different shots, taken at different angles, different backgrounds, scenes, outfits, hairstyles, makeup, etc?


  1. What kind of shachanim do YOU use?

  2. Lol. I've never had that before. Often people don't even ask for a photo! But I always put one or two on my resume anyways because tbh I don't wanna go out with a guy if a) he doesn't think I'm pretty and b) he's superficial enough not to go out with me if he doesn't think I look good in a pic. Therefore, I've already eliminated what I'm not interested in by sending a pic :-) I also make sure to have a few pics on fb available to the public so that they can check me out on fb (I put casual ones too where I look very natural and some without makeup) coz let's face it: I'm not gonna be wearing makeup 24/7 + I like the natural look, so if he's only a guy who's gonna want a dressed up Barbie doll all week long, what can I say? I'm not for him...I want someone who's gonna be attracted to my looks even when I'm not wearing makeup! (Obvs effort is needed every day, just not a full-on mask)

    1. Glad to hear that there some ladies out there with common sense

  3. The last suggestion isn't so bad - pictures that have been cropped show lack of effort on the part of the picture provider.

    I wrote about using pictures on YU Connects/Saw You at Sinai, which allows each user to post 3 pictures. I recommended 1) Dressed up, 2) Casual, 3) Full body. It simply makes the most sense, because the potential shidduch gets to get a more balanced impression of what you look like.

    However, I am very against ONLY girls giving pictures. I think as a fair turn guys should have to give pictures if they want to receive them in turn.

    Anything more excessive or specific than the 3 shots I mentioned (and further discuss in the post) is ridiculous.

    "Take a picture with your favorite animal!"

    "Eating your favorite food"

    "Doing a pirouette!"

    "Wearing a shaitel/scarf so he can see what you'd look like married!"

    People can really be crazy, it seems.

  4. Once someone was setting me up and she kept on demanding new photos. "That one looks too posed." "That one looks too theatrical." "I want one where you look more natural with no makeup."

    I said it: "Lady, I'm Hungarian. There is NO WAY I am taking a photo without makeup on!"

  5. Call me extreme, but I don't think the development you mention is unrelated to the proliferation of pornography.

    What's next- a picture of you with your hair wet? A picture bending over?

  6. Shades-glad to know there are still some gentlemen out there who agree with 'mutual photo sending' on both ends.
    Princess-I heart you!

  7. I personally like to be surprised :)