Thursday, March 17, 2011

Am I becoming VERY Visual?

So I'm a member of the various Jewish singles sites. In the past few years since I've signed up, I don't think I've received a 'match' that I've actually went out with. Most weren't at all shayach.
BUT, I've notice a change in the way I view guys.
Since Facebook took the world by storm, since all these dating sites with the 'post pix' options, I've become a very visual person. No, I'm not totally superficial-I've even checked into guys just by reading their description, even without a pic. However, lately with all the matches I'm sent, and all the boys I'm 'redd' to, a photo definitely makes a huge difference.
I mean, in the 'olden' days-or as I like to refer to them as the 'early' days of my dating, every guy I was offered sounded 'a-m-a-z-i-n-g' and then after traveling umpteen hours, it was quite a disappointment. Some were based on looks alone, others were based on personality, frumkeit, etc.
But since I've seen some photos of really cute, nice looking, put together guys through either Facebook, or emailed resumes, or even the dating websites, it really made me expect 'more' in regards to the looks of a future mate. Now that I've seen what I would consider some of the best looking, eligible, frum, 'normal' bachelors, if I'm redd something that doesn't even compete in that level, I just keep backtracking to those pix and thinking-but there are SOME decent looking fellows....
Does that make me wrong? or just a normal frum single?


  1. I understand where you are coming from but I have to say that you should not be doing that backtracking. When I first met my husband, I did not find him attractive. However, after several dates, I changed my opinion. You have to realize that a person's personality and how you feel about that person can totally change your opinion of their outward appearance. Please keep this in mind. You don't want to miss out on a great guy because he looks funny or weird.

  2. I've never been into looks. Sure, I know it when I see it, and wouldn't mind looking at it for awhile, but I don't feel a need to marry them. What really gets me is a guy's personality. That aspect has not changed in the past six years of dating.

  3. Frayd-Data: I'm not ONLY into looks, and yes, my number ONE thing that counts the most is PERSONALITY, PERSONALITY, PERSONALITY! I've been out with guys who weren't the best looking, but they had AMAZING personalities, and Fray-it's true, you get attracted to them after, but just saying....the photos definitely affected me in some way