Saturday, January 8, 2011

Singles-it goes FULL CIRCLE

I remember a few years back, going to see a Shadchan in NY, who was the 'new hot thing', meaning, he was the one making all the shidduchim at that time and EVERYONE went to see him and he knew EVERYONE. When I got there, I was soo impressed! He took out this HUGE binder full of names, photos, etc. and was listing so many boys at once, it was incredible. Not only that, he immediately asked how long I was staying for and promised me atleast 2 dates in NY before I had to travel back home. He did good on his promise and I literally had a date the next day!
I was so impressed with how quick he worked, that I did what any other single girl would do=I told all my friends that the MUST go see him.
During that time, I sent a few girls and they got set up. We then realized, when comparing notes, etc. that he had a handful of guys and set us all up with the same boys, he just took 1 guy and had him date all of us, then when it didn't work out, he went with the second guy, etc.
Even though that's how most people work-I only realized then, how the Shidduch 'circle' goes.
So, how did this full circle come around again? Well, that Shadchan went out of style as quickly as he came into style=his cellphones are both not in service anymore and he moved away.
In the meantime, every so often someone calls up with a 'familiar' name and after doing more research, I realize the name is familiar because I dated that guy. And then comes the usual phrase 'well, if you dated him, then atleast the suggestion is a shayach one, and since you're both single ANYway, why not give it another shot? you NEVA know...besides, my sister-in-law's niece went out with a guy a few years ago and it didn't work out, but then 3 weeks ago it was brought up and they went out and now they're engaged-see? it could work!'
So, been there done that-literally DONE that=went out with same guy twice, even tho years had passed and BOTH times I wasn't interested!
But, it's quite an insult when the date they suggest was one of your worst/embarassing dates, who you would NEVER even give a second thought about, yet there you are on the phone being lectured.
So let's get this straight folks:

just because both of you are still single=doesn't make it a common-enuf factor to go out on a date again!

ok, now I feel better :)

1 comment:

  1. Good post. I think if a shidduch suggestion comes around again it MAY be worth reconsidering - but only if the issue you had in the first place was something that time could fix. If he was ugly, chances are, he still is! All jokes aside though, I agree that just the fact that both are you are still around doesn't mean you're meant for each other...