Monday, January 17, 2011

Shidduch Airlines

Whilst discussing the nuisance of traveling for dates, and the types of travel (10-14 hour bus ride, train ride, car-ride, etc.) my friend mentioned how she managed to get a really good deal on a flight out at the last minute. This was like the 2nd time this happened to her and she was sssooo relaxed when she got back-traveling for an hour MAX, going and coming at normal hours and not half-asleep. Traveling comfortably and going on a date like a true mentsch. Unfortunately, not all of us are so lucky as lately the flights have been pretty costly.
But imagine if there were flights available to singles going on dates, it would be like this:

'Welcome to Shidduch Airlines, the airlines that helps enable Shidduchim'.
Women are to be seated at the right side of the plane, men on the left.
In the pouch infront of you is a Perek Shira for you to say during your flight-a Segulah to help bring your Bashert soon IY"H Amen!
Our stewards/stewardess's are here if you require anything. Also take note that they are here to act as your Shadchan. A list of all passengers on this plane, along with their shidduch resumes has been provided to our airline staff and should you find that one of our passengers aboard SHIDDUCH AIRLINES has caught your attention, feel free to ask our Stewardess' for more information, or for a seat change during the flight. Obviously seat changes have to be agreed to by both parties before being made.
Should an emergency arise, we have a buddy system in place whereby each male is assigned a female to sit next to and to aid in case the need arises.
If the air pressure drop in the cabin drops, oxygen masks will drop from above your seats, please place them over your nose and mouth and be sure to keep these on until your stewardess notifies you that these may be removed. In case of a panic/anxiety attach, which are common amongst singles in the Shidduch scene, these are also available and should be used.
All meals are cholov yisroel/pas yisroel/bishul yisroel/yoshon.
All alcoholic beverages aboard are available for purchase for yourselves or a perspective young individual.
Please note there are numerous programs available on our flatscreen screens for personal viewing. These were all approved by local Rabbonim, and the channels available are the following. We'd like to thank Virgin for broadcasting these programs.
1. Marriage Counseling with Dr. Phil
2. The Bachelor/Bachelorette
3. Shidduch Forum
4. Ask the Shadchan
5. Who wants to Marry a Millionaire?
6. Dating in the Dark
7. Dates on a Plane
8. Relationships & How they Affect us
9. Meet the Shadchan
10. Say Yes to how they Dress

Please place all black hats/bent ups/bent downs/velvet/flat/round/all names, cuts, colors and sizes in the overhead bins.
All heeled shoes/stillettos/boots/slingbacks/sandals should be placed in the overhead bins as well.

Duty Free is available a half hour after the flight takes off. Items for purchase are shown in the catalogue placed in the front pouch.
As there are no 'car doors' to open, we have made the option of 'opening the overhead bin to help lift carry-on luggage or what-not' available to any gentleman who wishes to help any female passenger on the flight.
Our airline staff will be coming around with nametags placed on our 'wings' pin for each passenger to please pin to their jacket lapel/sweater/t-shirt/shirt tops.

We thank you for flying SHIDDUCH AIRLINES. Hope you have an enjoyable flight and a memorable experience. If you happen to find your Shidduch, all the better than.
SHIDDUCH AIRLINES-making the dating experience so enjoyable-time just FLIES by