I never thought I would be the one writing a post like this-but I'm big on Hakaras Hatov, and these past 2 weeks, I have been saved from more than on date.
The kudos, in these few cases, is to Facebook.
You see, a Shadchan called me up and told me she had spoken with this guy over the phone and he seems like the kind of guy for me. She did mention that she never met him before and requested a photo. She received the photo and was worried that he might be what she called 'large', so in the interim she told me to check into it more and first see if it was at all shayach and at the same time, if I can find out about physical appearance and see if that is shayach as well. She gave me a number of someone who knows him well and I went along trying to find out info.
Disclaimer: even though I know it's NOT looks, but PERSONALITY that will win me over, I do still feel that looks play a major part. I'm not expecting a Jewish Patrick Dempsey, but someone clean, well-groomed, nicely dressed, put together, etc. I'm sure most people agree.
In any case, I called the person who 'hmmed, and hhhmmmmd' the way thru the conversation and said they didn't see him in a while but didn't remember him being large, etc' and asked us to call back in the evening as they would have more info.
Immediately, my brain got working and I was like, 'hey, these people are people who KNOW him. In that case, why weren't they sure how he looked. and WHY would we need to call back to know how he looked?!'
I decided we NEED to get a photo somehow, or find someone who will tell us straight out. Again, this was based on the Shadchan's opinion of his photo, which wasn't that clear.
I called a friend who happened to know the family of this gentleman and was friends on facebook. She gave me her login info and voila-within minutes I was staring at a gentleman, who, was, to put it nicely, definitely more than large. I was disappointed but at the same time thankful that
(a) the Shadchan was honest and gave me her honest opinion
(b) the Shadchan even asked him, just for herself, for a photo
(c) my friend willingly gave me her login info
(d) Facebook had saved me from traveling for what I would see as a disappointing date.
Now, I'm not saying the guy is a bad guy. Not at all=I don't know him to say that. However, it's not the kind of guy I would necessarily want to date, let alone marry. While some of you are probably rolling ur eyes thinking-"how do you know you don't wanna marry him if you don't give him a chance," I'm sure you also would feel the same way if you saw a large guy, really large with a beer belly and kippah. Just cuz he's jewish and single, doesn't mean he's for you.
So, all I'm sayin is, 'Thank you Facebook' for putting a photo to the name, the photo which this guy chose himself to upload for all to see!