Thursday, March 11, 2010

Patience Please!

I hate to admit it, but I'm not a really patient person! Not that I'm always rushing=i HATE HATE HATE ABSOLUTELY HATE-did I mention that I really HATE to be rushed?!??

Anyway, but I'm not the most patient person in the world. I'm the kind of gal who will sit at a red light, turn up the volume in the car and if the car infront of me doesn't budge the second the light turns green, I won't honk like a maniac, I'll give them 2 minutes to 'space in' and then honk or cut them off...(see, I'm NOT a New Yorker!-no offense guys)

Now the reason I bring this up is simple: when it comes to 'checking into guys' for moi, I usually try and find my own sources, e.g. people who know me and might know the guy either cuz they live(d) in the same area, went to the same camp/bungelow colony, same age, same Shul, same job, college, etc. If I can't and even sometimes when I can, then I refer to the 'references' which are provided by the Shadchan.

Now, for most people who have (busy) lives, it's hard to reach them the minute you call. Either they forgot to turn on their cell, or their cell is on vibrate, or they don't hear it ring. They could be on another line with someone more important, they could be at the gym, feeding their kids, etc. which leaves with with 2 options: (a) leave a message and call back again later (b) don't leave a message and call back again later. Either way, you gotta call back again to try and reach them.

Lately, it seems that most people who 'redd' me shidduchim just DONT HAVE PATIENCE! What can I do? I make the calls, I'm calling the right numbers, but I can't get through, so I keep calling and trying to reach these people. In the meantime, I carry on with my daily routines, etc. But the Shadchanim keep calling back asking for an answer which they always need RIGHT NOW and I can't help them, because it is totally out of my control if people don't answer their phones or return calls!

So, I hereby wish to publicly state: if you know you are listed as a reference for someone, please, pretty please for heaven's sake-make sure your phone is turned on and atleast check your messages once a day!

Thanks y'all!


  1. I hear you! I'm also low on the patience scale when it comes to these kind of things.

  2. I'm with you on this! The guys get to take their time doing research b/c they usually get the info first, and the girls are expected to give an answer right away. And you can never reach any of the references.