Thursday, July 5, 2012

Putting Pressure on the WRONG Person

Lately, I've been getting a lot of, well, for the lack of better terminology...'heck' from alot of people. They come over to me at Simchas, on the street, in the grocery, and in public places and decide to bring the entire world in on my personal life. They approach me mostly because they either suggested me to someone, or were somehow involved in a suggestion that never happened and begin to yell at me and tell me off, blaming me for not 'following up' or 'going out' with the person. The thing is-they are talking to the WRONG person. As a girl, I usually get a call, am told to email/fax my information and then I'm told that they will get back to me either way. BUT-that never happens. I usually know (by now, after years in the system) and when they don't get back to you, 90% of the time, it's because the guy who they are suggesting it to, said NO, and they are either too ashamed, embarrassed, etc. to let you down.
So, these people come over to me, and very openly tell me off, and explain this is why I am single and then walk away, when really, it ain't me they should be 'pressuring' in public OR private. It's the guy.
About 2 weeks ago, at a Simcha this guy walked over to my parents and told them off, after his married kid had asked for my resume MONTHS ago, and told me she would get back to me the same day. We never heard back-I assumed it was a no. So this guy tells my parents off, everyone looks around thinking 'this is why she ain't married yet-her parents don't even do anything about suggestions...' In any case, the Shidduch from months ago ends up being brought up again-because of this Simcha, and I'm told to be in touch with the married kid, which I am, and still, I hear nothing. A few weeks pass and the family calls about something else. Whilst they are on the phone, I ask what ever happened as I never heard back from the married kid and at the wedding, the dad was like telling us off. There is a minor pause at the other end of the line and then a sorta mumbled line....'ya, the guy is like crazy, you know those type of boys-they can't even make up their's not gonna work....forget about it'.
I rest my case


  1. I've probably sent out my information 100 and only 10% of the time is there followup. It bites.

  2. Your problem is one that many Jews would envy.

    At least people are approaching you for the purpose of marriage often. Other Jews rarely or never receive calls about dating for marriage. For example: Baalei teshuvah, gerim, Sephardim, poor Jews, fat Jews, short Jews, bald Jews, etc, can go for 2 or 3 or 4 years without receiving one phone call from someone trying to set them up on a date.

    You complain because you only get a 10% follow-up rate. Lots of Jews, like the ones I mentioned in the previous paragraph, get approximately a 0% follow-up rate.