Thursday, June 14, 2012

When Family WORKS

Did I ever mention how I LOVE my family?! I mean, sometimes they get to be a pain, and a bit annoying, but in general, I have the most awesome, loving, and caring family. And, yes, folks-at times like this, I appreciate it even more.
This woman called my house the other day. She had tried to set me up a few times. She's not a shadchan and I met her randomly, actually, now that I think about-I have no idea how, when and where I met her. Anyway, she called to tell me she has this 'A-M-A-Z-I-N-G' guy for me and that he sounds exactly like the kinda guy I'm looking for. Before going on and on about him, she did happen to mention that he knows my uncle really well. In fact, she seemed to notice that he put my uncle down as his reference, as it seems he ate there a lot of Shabbos. Before going ahead and sending me the information, she wanted to know if it was totally NOT shayach, because wouldn't my uncle have suggested it if he knows him so well, or perhaps, my uncle just never thought of it?
So, I did the next logical thing: I asked her for the guy's details and called my uncle. Almost immediately my uncle said those few words: 'SOS, it's NOT for you'
I was thankful, and a bit curious as to how he answered so directly, so quickly, without giving any information. But I understood enough to back off and just take my uncle's word for it. I thanked him and called the woman back.
Now, I can only imagine if this guy would NOT have my uncle listed.
One of us would've traveled for the date, perhaps it would be totally off, or perhaps, it would've been the 'ok' type of date and continued on the 'ok' track for a good few dates, until when things moved so far along that we would've realized something was wrong after alot of time & energy was invested in the relationship. Or perhaps-actually.....I don't really wanna think of all the should've, would've, could've, and what ifs. I just wanna thank Hashem for such wonderful family and for clearly helping me in this situation without hurting anyone or wasting anyone's time.
... there really IS nothing like family :)


  1. It is great that you got to call your uncle but I do think that sometimes you can and should ask "Why?" They don't have to always answer it, but perhaps there is something that they think about the person or you that is incorrect.

    I'll explain why I'm saying this. I was somewhere for Shabbos and the hostess told me how her niece is getting married to her other brother's best friends's son. Meaning the families really know each other. But why wasn't it suggested? The uncle didn't think that he was enough into "kiruv". So he never suggested it and when they called him to know if he thought it was a good idea, he said no. She still went out with him and now they are getting married.

    So I'm not saying that this is that and I'm sure that your uncle only wants what is best for you and if his answer was "NO!" there must be a reason. But I think it is good to, if the person can say, understand why they do not think it is a good idea.

  2. i agree with ZP .ur uncle cant say what type of person u will be attracted to and if he is really for u or not unless he has a really good reason that u agree with, because i know someone that was asked if a girl was good for her brother and she said no but her brother decided to try anyway and they got married!!!,so basically ur uncle is not u and u just never know.!

  3. FFBs should thank HASHEM every day for their Torah-observant fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, cousins, nephews, nieces, etc, etc.

    All of them are very great benefits that should be appreciated, not taken for granted.