Thursday, June 7, 2012

I like my Men Independent

A friend of mine mentioned that she had read an article in one of the Jewish magazines or newspapers (I think it was Mishpacha magazine?) about this guy. He basically wrote in that he came back from learning in Yeshiva in Israel and was being 'redd' shidduchim. Being a guy, he kept on getting loads of phone calls about girls and there was alot of mention of support. He couldn't understand what these people were referring to, why would he-how could he expect someone else to support him? He, being an independent guy, knew there was no way he was going on ever agree to have someone else support him, let alone expect someone to do so. It sounded so wrong. If he was old enough to get married, he was old enough to support himself and he decided no matter what it would take, he would find a way to support himself & his wife whilst continuing in his learning. At first, people were surprised at his reaction, but he ended up getting married and yes, he supported himself all along, whilst maintaining his learning schedule. His friends ended up being supported by others in their learning and eventually ended up working about a year or so after their 'so-called' learning whilst being supported. 

So, after hearing about this story (shout out to 'friend of mine'-get a move on and get me that article please) I was sooo happy to know that there are guys out there (well, atleast I now know of 1) who have a the type of mentality that I am looking for. Who do not depend on others, and especially when it comes to support. I believe that when both parties are mature enough to make a decision to get married and live their own life-it comes with responsibilities and making a living and supporting yourself is one of those.

If you are the author of this article, I have one question for you: do you have a single brother?


  1. Of course they exist! They are a little rare nowadays, but how can I respect my spouse if he expects someone else to maintain him in the style in which he has become accustomed?

  2. The ketubah says that the husband must support the wife.

  3. Wrote a blog post based on this... Was gonna comment but it got too long lol