Monday, August 16, 2010

So much for being Inconspicuous...

So, I grab my short lunch break today and head over to the closest fast food place. Of course, I'm rushing and of course-because I'm rushing-there is a huge line infront of me and what seems like an endless amount of people at the cash. I panic, but only just a bit, thinking I will be spending all of my lunch time waiting in line-but that's what we do for food.
Suddenly, I hear a voice, more particularly that voice, the one of the town yenta, the lady who knows everything about anyone, the one who gets under your skin, who you avoid at Simchas, who occasionally calls your home number because 'she just met this guy at the grocery store' and you see her number on caller ID and don't pick up, cuz you know that call is headed with the rest of her calls-NOWHERE.
So, I hear that voice and I cringe, try to hide behind the person infront of me and grab a peek. Sure enough-it's her: THE TOWN YENTA, the NATIONAL NUDGE, the woman you would do anything to avoid meeting, seeing or bumping into. By now, there were people behind me and only 2 people ahead of me at the cash, so it was too late to turn around. I quickly took cover behind my funky iphone and sent some 'important' emails which i concentrated very hard on. Lucky for me-YENTA didn't seem to notice myself. However, just then the guy at the cash calls out 'NEXT', and I hear YENTA, who says the following:
"I can't order now, can't you see I'm trying to redd a Shidduch!? You want me to stop helping this sweet girl, I mean, how can I NOT redd her, she's such a great girl...'
I was mortified for the girl, I was thinking she's probably MELTING (or atleast hoping she would melt right there on the floor), and then I move a bit to see the girl=it was actually a friend of mine. Luckily, the girl IS a sweetie (score 1 for Yenta) and she smiled her sweet smile and shook YENTA off. Only, after YENTA eventually ordered (lotsa angry customers rushing during lunch break) she went back to the girl and infront of everyone in the place, starts yapping about her personal love life and asking questions and pushing her to go out. The girl was like, 'umm, no thanks, I mean, it's really nice of you but I don't think so....'
The next thing I know, YENTA, calls the guy standing RIGHT BEHIND this girl. A tall blond goodlooking boy turns around and YENTA tells him loudly, infront of the girl (who is now standing right infront of him) and says 'why not? I think you guys would be great together, it's worth a shot. give her a chance...'
(I'm watching this, thinking A-W-K-W-A-R-D and at the same time-should I video this for youtube?)
The guy looks at the girl and smiles, then tells her they're actually traveling on the same flight, so 'you never know' and 'we can see'.
Wow! This woman seriously is tops at her job as YENTA-or even better! I was soo thankful my friend walked away from it and held her head high, leaving with some pride.
Me, on the other hand, I hid behind the tall goodlooking guy, whispered my order, paid for it and RAN!
Some people just still don't get it....personal life is called PERSONAL life for a reason!

1 comment:

  1. This woman sounds crazy, not a well-meaning individual who needs to learn about boundaries. There's a lady I keep bumping into at shiurim who I thought was certifiable, but this YENTA takes the nut-cake.