Sunday, August 8, 2010

Looking Good-without a reason

I read BOSD's most recent post and I havta say I TOTALLY agree!
If you haven't already read it, I linked it above, but in short, she writes about people commenting on the fact that she's getting engaged just cuz she lost some weight.
I have a friend who, although we live in the same city, because of our jobs and distance, we only get to see each other so often (if you don't count webcam chatting) and every time we meet up, she tells me I lost weight OR my hair is so good OR I'm dressed really well OR some comment that is followed by: 'is something happening? r u getting engaged' and I must say, even though we're friends, it definitely bothers me. It's like you can't look good unless there is a reason. Which must mean I always look 'that bad' or 'that shluchy'.
The other day, my co-worker walked into the kitchen whilst we were both getting coffee and she told me I lost weight. I responded in all of honesty by telling her, 'ya, I did. I didn't eat supper last night-as I had lunch at 3pm and this morning I was 2 pounds less on the scale! I should try eating a late lunch more often!'
In this day and age, when, unfortunately, eating disorders and the such are becoming more common, people shouldn't really focus so much on 'skinny-looking good'. Smiling=looking good. Being more happy, more yourself, FEELING good=looking good.
I know of a girl who was literally glowing and a few weeks later she got engaged. Did anyone comment on the fact that she seemed 'happier, 'lighter' or more 'easy-going' lately-nopes. Wear your hair down one day-BANG! she's getting engaged!
sheesh people. For the record-I once went on a date with an out-of-town guy, who, before our date, mentioned we were going to some kind of amusement park place and even suggested I wear jeans and put my hair in a pony-JUST FOR THE RECORD! see? it is possible to go on a date with your hair up. (Once you get married, its either less hair, no hair-if you're chassidish, or hair up in a clip/pony, so what different does it make?). Besides Pony Shaitels are in style for the time being....
Next time you see someone who is a few pounds less-just give them a break and be happy for them and wish the same for yourself.


  1. THanks for the link!

    And FYI, I didn't just write it. It was really a reader's story.


  2. Considering how I wear a ponytail all the time, I must not be looking very presentable to the shidduch hounds.

    Saying, "You look skinny," translates in my head as "You were fat." And tomorrow, I may not be "skinny" anymore.

    As for skinny being beautiful, there are plenty of shtekens out there that were not blessed with looks.

    I would actually like to see an engagement where neither party go crazy. Like suddenly dieting, or being blatantly blissful in the presence of the unblessed, and so forth.

    But someone who is pleasant and lovely ALL THE TIME is the special gal, who can smile to all without needing a reason. Someone get that girl a good guy!