Tuesday, August 10, 2010

'The Shadchan Shlep'

There's this thing I labeled 'The Shadchan Shlep'. It's one of my least favorite things-but one of those 'well, everyone does it, and you're not getting younger' things that me, being a single, frum girl has got to do.
What the Shadchan Shlep is, is basically what it sounds like-shlepping out to meet shadchanim. Whether in the same city, 5-15-30 minute drive, or going out of town to meet them, or if you're out of town already, for vacation or a Simcha, scheduling to meet with shadchanim-which will always turn out to be a shlep.
Some people think it's worth the Shlep.
Me, being in 'the business' for a few years already, have 2 ways of seeing this.
a) It's a good way for the shadchan to get to know you (first impressions are everything), see you, listen to you, and get a feel for you. Hence, you hope they will offer 'more relevant' shidduchim for you.
b) What's the point? They've already set you up, or never answer your calls, or redd you totally-not-type shidduchim.
However, you gotta do your hishtadlus and I still think-if it's not that much of a shlep-go for it.
If it is a shlep-talk your single friends into a road trip-tell them its a Segula-and watch them run to pack their stuff.
Besides, now that it's the summer, who doesn't wanna do a roadtrip with their friends? Besides nowz the time to 'chap arein', before Yeshivas begin (if they haven't already!)

1 comment:

  1. If you look it up, the hishtadlus required for a single female is that she should use cosmetics and dress well. That's it. Nothing about humiliating oneself on behalf of amateur shadchanim who, very often, treat one badly.

    In my family, the marriages came around from family and close friends. Not the so-called "shadchan."

    If one goes, it's for their own peace of mind. One feels calmer if they have done something rather than waiting for the phone to ring. That's fine.