Thursday, August 12, 2010

Sayings from the Shadchans

Whilst most of us usually get a call from a Shadchan, opening with the usual line 'boy have I got a guy for you!' or 'I just met the greatest boy' or 'I just got off the phone with this boy-he sounds PERFECT for you'.
(Guys-a disclaimer-I don't know how it works in your world, whether the Shadchan calls you directly, or your moms, or whether you just get told or paid to go out with girls, but the above definitely sums up the kinda calls us, girls receive.)
Now, whilst most of you heard the typical 'selling opening lines', some of you may not have had the 'pleasure' of hearing some other lines from Shadchanim...the ones following their introduction. In that case, I take the opportunity to give you the top 10 'Sayings of Shadchans'

1. 'So, why do you think you're still single?'
2. (after finding out by your OWN research, that that the guy was previously married and has a few kids and confronting the shadchan) 'So what?'
3. (after hearing specific harmful info on a guy) 'Oh...I didn't think it was important to tell you'
4. 'You're (insert age here)?!??!?! I can easily sell you for (3 years younger than age)!'
5. 'There aren't alot of guys around who fit into the category of what you're looking for'
6. 'Is it mainly you who says no, or is it the boys who say no to you?'
7. 'Well, no one is getting younger here'
8. 'Thank you for calling the ___ family. If this call is in regards to Shidduchim please do not leave a message, please call ___ or email ____' (never returns messages)
9. 'He's not heavy-he's just working on the run, so he eats in his car...but once he gets married and settled, then I'm sure all his weight will come off.'
10. 'I have a guy who's everything BUT what you're looking for...You interested?'

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