Monday, July 14, 2014

Bullying Singles

I just had the most frustrating conversation with a shadchan. And by conversation, I'm being waaaay too polite. It was more like a 20 minute verbal abuse session, than a two way civil conversation. 
I had honestly never met or spoke with the shadchan before. I was referred to her by a friend of mine and we were in touch by text/email. She had redd me to a guy and it was someone that was redd before nothing happened. I guess the guy wasn't interested. And that's where it all went downhill. 
After telling me off about getting a college degree and how girls should be educated as most boys want 'college girls' etc. I politely replied that it says on my résumé that I have a college degree-hence I was in college. Although I didn't agree with her reasoning, ie girls shouldn't go to college just because guys want college girls, they should do it for the elves if that's what they want, I just closed my mouth to avoid a further argument. 
Then the shadchan let me know that in no way, shape or form, if the guy agrees to go out with me (once the shadchan confirmed to him that I so indeed have a college degree), may I give a "no". The shadchan txted me only minutes later to let me know she told the guy he MUST go out with me and so 'it will happen'. 
When I asked for references she brushed me off saying that it's hard to get people married these days, let alone go on a date and that I was no 18/19 yr old spring chicken so I don't really need references and know a good thing when I see one and her idea WAS a good thing, so she advised me to say yes without references. 
I must say at that point I was really disappointed and ready to tell off my friend who referred me to this crazy person! I've never had such a terrible experience and to be bullied just because she made a call and forced the guy to go out?!?!
But my dear readers, I stood up for myself. I have pride and just cuz I'm single, don't make that excuse enough to go out with every tom, dick and Harry that every 'shadchan' decides needs a coffee break. 
Anyone else out there deal with bully-shadchans? (We should really nickname them bull-sh*dders)


  1. I never called references. Didn't stop me from meeting my fiancé. I'm of the opinion the less you know before the date, the better.

  2. Bully-shadchans go with the territory. They don't seem to realize that if they really, as they say, "care" about the "clueless" singles, they could still be nice about it.