After years of being in "the system", it still comes as a shock to me the way people act and react. I remember back in the early years when I was maybe 21-23 and shadchanim would mention boys who were 20, 21, 22 and I informed them I wasn't comfortable dating boys who were younger than me. At that point I got a whole telling off. Don't get me wrong, boys are immature (no offence guys) and especially at that age (although, there are some, very few, who are indeed mature enough...), but when the Shadchan heard my response I got at least 1/2 hour's worth of telling off. First it was about being picky, then the boy really was 'mature', or some other excuse. I probably dated one or two of them in my early twenties, just to get rid of my own self-doubt and believe in the minorities of 'mature young men' and then realized I had no one to prove this to. Shadchanim can say whatever they want-they are just salespeople trying to make a sale!
But now, the tables have turned. It's years later and I'm considered an older single in the "shidduch system". At this point, what does a year or two make a difference? The way I see it, it ain't the age, it's the stage of life you're at. And at this point, myself and my future hubby are not newbies to the system and are ready to get married and settle down. Yes, I have mentioned this to shadchanim but they brush it off.
The last few boys who were suggested all said they want 'younger girls'. Heck, I was redd to a guy last month who I thought was a bit above my age bracket, yet was told that he dated my neighbour who is 15 years his junior (and NO, I'm not kidding). Guys want younger girls. Guys want beautiful girls. Guys wants girls with money and they all will get offered what they are looking for.
But when an older guy gets engaged to a (much) younger girl-or even asks for one, is he considered a cradle snatcher? uh...no.
When he is suggested me-the same age group as himself-I'm considered an old hag compared to the young fresh-outta-sem girls.
and that's my rant on this whole matzav.
The Shadchanim who were so busy telling me off years ago, when it made absolutely no sense (unless you're ultra chassidish), are now telling me that the guys my age, who they feel are shayach would like to date younger girls and that's ok cuz guys get what they ask for and they get what they want.
What is UP with this system, we call the shidduch system which is ssssoooo corrupt?