Sunday, November 10, 2013

Boys get a Choice

In the last week alone I'm seeing clearly how boys can get away with so much more than girls. They can make decisions that they don't need to justify. They put forth their requests and demands and 'shadchanim' nod their heads and get them whatever they wish. 
With girls, on the other hand, every little move they make they are obligated to justify and are then told that 'that is not a (good enough) excuse' when they make their decision. Hence the 'pushing' from the shadchan and the girl is pressured into making decisions she doesn't believe in. 
As an example: I was supposed to go out with a guy last week. The shadchan called-it was all last minute chaos, etc. She didn't even give me a résumé/basic info. I just asked for a name. But no-no info, no name and guess what? The guy never showed. I was 'pushed' into agreeing to going out just for a quick coffee without having a smidge of info. 
Yet, 2 days later a different shadchan called me and asked me to send a photo as the guy she had in mind wanted a photo before even knowing my name or anything else about me. Instead of telling him to perhaps check into my info and see if I was even 'shayach' for this guy-the shadchan jumped at his request for a photo without any info and went ahead to request this from me (actually she didn't ask-she demanded). 
But no, ladies & gents, I will no give in to this idiocracy. As much as photos help-people have to be mentchlech. That rings true for guys, girls and shadchanim. 
Guys have atleast are given a choice, 
With girls-we decide and then the shadchan makes noise,
Like they all say-the shidduch system is for the boys!


  1. Kiddush HaShem:
    Rabbi returns $98,000 in accidentally lost cash:

  2. You said yes to a date with someone whose name you didn't even know? I'm trying to think why anyone would do this. Are you worried that this shadchan will ignore you otherwise? Because that sounds like a best-case scenario.

  3. tesyaa-I didn't say 'yes'. I told the shadchan that in theory, based on her description, I would go out with him but first wanted a BIT of info-e.g. a name to start with, so I can look into it quickly. Not afraid anyone will ignore me-as you said, that would be my BEST-case scenario :)