Monday, June 27, 2011

What Works for Others.....

Recently, there's been a whole slew of Simchas amongst my friends, including weddings, babies, and, of course, engagements. I mean, there were so many in such a short period of time that I was literally running out of things to wear!

In any case, with the Simchas, always comes the comments. Mostly I just ignore, brush it off, grin-&-bear-it typa thing, but eventually, it gets to you.

Here's a recent comment that really, ummm, for use of a better word, ticked me off.

So, here's what happened that lead to this comment. A friend of mine got engaged. She's an older single, and like anyone who heard was sooo happy for her (of course!). She got engaged to a guy that was previously suggested to her. Sounds familiar? I've heard this numerous times.

The comment: 'you should really go back over the suggestions that were offered to you and try and 'revisit' them. See? She wasn't interested in him the first time round, but look-they got engaged!' Then she went on saying how we can't be picky and maybe if this single woulda said yes the first time round, she would've been having kids by now, etc.

Point is: who are we to judge? Obviously the timing wasn't bashert then. Obviously HASHEM is the one Who makes Shidduchim and Who has it all worked out-not random people who are just there to comment and point fingers.

My point is: Yay! She's engaged! I'm soooo happy for her! But what necessarily worked for her (going out with a guy who was suggested before and who she said 'no' to the first time round), doesn't always work for others.


  1. So many things depend upon timing. They were perfect for each other now, and not then.

    Also, I resent how people constantly apply things that happen in others lives to mine. And they didn't even do it themselves! They tell me to go on singles events when their kids don't. They tell me to go out with a guy that they consider to be questionable. They tell me to go out, AGAIN, with a guy that I already went out with!


  2. That's crazy, but I was recently thinking this- a woman from my shul made a shidduch between a 27 and 28 year old, and she said it took 2 years before the families took the idea seriously. What a chaval. However, you're right, H' has a plan and perhaps had they tried it 2 years ago it would not have worked out. Same with your friend. When she revisited the guy she's engaged to, she had ___ months/years of additional experiences which changed her as a person. My mom always says that had she met my dad when she was 19/20, she would never have married him. Preferences change...

  3. There are different females I wish I had dated at a different stage of either my life or theirs.