Thursday, June 24, 2010

Letting Loose

My friend Estie, called me a few days ago, asking if I had plans for the evening. When I told her I didn't have anything that important, she asked if I would go with her to a 'Mitzvah Wedding'. For those not-in-the-know, basically, it's a wedding where there aren't that many people attending (for whatever reason, either they couldn't afford it, or they are from out of town, or orphans, converts, etc).
I agreed to go and we got all dressed up for our 'evening out'. On the way, I picked up a few girls and when we got to the hall it was pretty empty. We made it on time for the Chosson & Kallah's debut entrance and danced the night away. During the break between the 1st and 2nd dance, my Estie and I were discussing what an awesome wedding this was. The music was rockin, the dancing was totally leibedik, everyone was seriously enjoying the atmosphere. Then we realized-as bad as this is gonna sound, it is totally true.
When we go to our friends weddings and/or weddings in the community, well, the entire community attends. So everyone is worried about 'how they look, how tznius their attire is, who is looking at them, what everyone is thinking, what the shadchan is thinking of her hair, what the boys who 'might see her' would think, etc. and they are soo busy being 'worried' about the impression they make and how they are seen, that they can't enjoy themselves. The weddings end up being mostly 'fake smiles', stiff hora dancing, very well mannered, and proper. Yes, I'll admit, there are the occasional 'crazy leibedek dancing girls', or the 'shtick girls' who dance like mad, dress up, and throw off their shoes to do crazy moves and be mesameach the kallah, but that's only 1 girl outta the entire crowd.
On the other hand, last night, the wedding was soo small, all girls from all different backgrounds/schools/communities got together to 'make' this wedding and everyone was just soo full of Simcha. They danced, sung, did some 'shtick' and were just themselves. It was soo glad to see and it totally reflected on the type of Simcha felt in the room that night.
Letting loose really added to the 'leibedik'ness of the wedding, and the atmosphere was awesome.
We drove back feeling soo good. Yes, we did a big mitzvah and were mesameach a kallah the other night, but at the same time, just having a good time, letting loose, acting crazy, dancing like mad, etc. it was just such genuine Simcha-totally put us on a high!
So, next time you're at a wedding, who needs the booze to give you that boost-just be yourself!


  1. While this is all very true, I profer another possible reason that might have made this simcha far more enjoyable.

    In my experience, the smaller the simcha, the nicer the atmosphere. Too many weddings today are more like conventions than weddings. You barely get to interact with the baalei simcha, she "shtick girls" as you call them, monopolize the dancing, and everybody is grumbling about the late hour because the same people who invite 400-500 people, are the one's who take 400-500 pictures and leave their "guests" (who they are not treating very much like guests, mind you) waiting.

  2. I didn't get a chance to comment on the same day, when you posted this but I wanted to say that i totally agree with your point.