Sunday, May 9, 2010

Is all "Fair" in love (and war)?

This past week I received 3 separate emails with the same message, as reads below:


~ B”H ~


Will take place iy”H on Sunday, May 9th, 2010

4:30 pm to 8:00 pm: Ladies & Girls

8:30 pm to 10:30 pm: Men & Boys

(Hours Strictly Enforced)

B'nai Israel of Linden Heights, 4502 9th Avenue (Corner of 46th Street), Boro Park, Brooklyn

Do not miss this great opportunity to meet many men and women Shadchanim at one place and at one time.

Bring profile and picture.

Minimal entrance fee to cover expenses

Rabbinically Endorsed

For more information, call 718-633-6378. All calls will be returned, b”n.


When I got the first email, I read it and thought: WOW! Is this what the world is coming too? Exploiting something out of our control (aka 'finding the right one') and turning it into a "fair"

The only fairs I've been to, are county fairs-where they award ribbons to 'largest pumpkin, best livestock, sheep shearing, etc'. Who makes fairs for shidduchim?! I mean, let's give the benefit of the doubt here-they are trying to 'help' us singles. If that's the case tho, then I have a few questions.

1) Why is a minimal fee required? what expenses are they incurring?
2) If it is indeed Rabbinically endorsed, why not put the names of the Rabbonim who endorse it-what's to hide?
3) Lastly-if someone IS putting on a fair, which purpose is to help singles get married-why separate hours?! Think about it as waiting in line for rides in DisneyWorld, if you're gonna be standing in line waiting 20 minutes or so, you might as well chat with the person in line behind/infront of you, who might be a nice eligible, young guy.

Anyhow, I have a problem with this whole thing, again, like I said above, but also think of making a fair in another context. Let's take the issue of fertility. There are so many couple out there who only wish to be Blessed with children and unfortunately, do not have any-YET.

Now imagine if you saw this ad only it would be called "Fertility Fair" - come meet with specialized doctors and fertility specialists. Meet with adoptive parents as well. Please bring your results of all bloodtests, scans, and/or any medical procedures performed.

Would people take it the same way? What? they are just trying to help these couples.....

Basically-don't exploit our issues to make a 'fair'. Fairs are for rides, livestocks and vegetables=not people.


  1. This is disturbing.
    What is next for young people required to create "resumes" but a job, ahem, I mean, Shidduch fair....?
    Except at a Shidduch fair, they demand a photo and an entrance fee...!

  2. Ummmmm. I think they called it a fair just like there are JOB fairs.

    A gathering held at a specified time and place for the buying and selling of goods; a market.

    An exhibition, as of farm products or manufactured goods, usually accompanied by various competitions and entertainments: a state fair.

    An exhibition intended to inform people about a product or business opportunity: a computer fair; a job fair.

    An event, usually for the benefit of a charity or public institution, including entertainment and the sale of goods; a bazaar: a church fair.

    [Middle English faire, from Old French feire, from Late Latin fēria, sing. of Latin fēriae, holidays; see dhēs- in Indo-European roots.]
    The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition
    Copyright © 2009 by Houghton Mifflin Company.
    Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

    So how exactly does this not qualify as a fair?

  3. I don't think they realise the source of the issue...not helping people, who are desperate to meet their soul mates.

    I've seen some of the emails as well, but I was never impressed. I think it's good to share ideas, but shadchanis should never be, one road. Each person has their own life and story to live. It's not fair to expect us all to follow one path, and that includes with dating.