So this past weekend, I was 'lucky' enough to bump into a local Shadchan at a Shul Kiddush. Not only was I lucky enough to see her, but she decided to come over and chat to me about the good, bad, and ugly about being a shadchan. Whilst relating her personal stories and phonecalls, she mentioned something that sorta had me divided.
Basically, she was telling me how she set up this girl from 1 city with a guy from another city. Anyway, they went out for quite a while and the girl wasn't sure if he was for her, but the guy really liked her. Finally, she continued to go out and decided this is it-she's READY to get engaged to him. That night, when she made her decision, her friend got engaged and she went to the vort. When she got to the engagement party, she decided this guy she's dating isn't 'the one' and wasn't for her. She got home, called the shadchan and apologized saying she couldn't go through with this.
Her take on the situation: it wasn't fair of the girl to 'shlep' the guy for so long if she knew he wasn't 'the one' for her.
My take: although I do agree with her somewhat, i have to put in my word as a 'social worker' for my dating friends and personal experiences, that sometimes it is not that one party is 'shlepping' but that they honestly don't know if its a 'yes' or 'no', and after asking around people just say 'continue to date until you find a definite reason to give a no'. So, I can't entirely and wholeheartedly say I agree that someone is 'shlepping' someone, obviously they are continuing because they believe there is reason to go out and there is no reason to say no.
Unless, there are other reasons...feel free to enlighten me...I like a good argument :)