Thursday, October 29, 2009

My Idea of 'Finding the House'

I have to say that I honestly feel bad for guys when they have to date girls and only get an address. Especially if you're not familiar with the area where the girl lives.
Here's how I see it from the guy's point of view: You take our your trusty GPS (or if you're driving a loser cruiser-you take out your trusty city map) or your printed mapquest directions. You drive around in the dark, slowing down by every intersection to make sure you can see which streets you're passing to know that you're headed in the right direction. Finally, you turn onto the correct street, but now you have to literally stop infront of each house, using your nightvision goggles-ok, getting a bit carried away here-straining your eyesight to try and see the address on each house.
If your girl has one of those cool halogen addresses-then you aint got a problem. But what if she's an ordinary house with a number that's been planted on the house since the street was built?
There are 2 choices you have now: Either park somewhere in middle of the block and walk down the street until you find the right house, or if you don't wanna get outta your car (winter or laziness) then you can stop infront of each and every house.
So, in honor of all guys out there, I had this great idea of 'identifying the house of the girl you are picking up'. See, the other day I was in the mall and they had this Harry Potter-Dementor kinda lookin thing, black cloak and all, greyish face, pointy nose with a wart, and the eyes GLOW IN THE DARK! how cool? Anyway, holding a flat tray with treats on it (obviously in honor Halloween). I showed my mom and told her, wouldn't it be great if we got one, that way, when the guy comes to date me, people will say-Oh! SOS? She's the house with the dementor with the glow in the dark eyes!
ok, if that is too non-Jewish to scare away guys (but c'mon, everyone has some kinda sense of humor in them-I would appreciate the gesture!), then use the next decoration for the season-Xmas inflatable snowglobes to put on your lawn!
I mean, the easiest thing would be to live in a castle, mansion or newly 'extreme home madeover house', but until we get there, let's stick with some creative landmarking decors!
oh! and for those of you who think I'm nuts-I just googled Jewish inflatables-there's even something called 'Frosty the Jewish snowman'. Who needs a JC bible scene when u got one of those?


  1. I hear you. Especially since, on more than one occassion, guys have said confidently "I went to yeshiva in that neighborhood, no need to give me directions," or "Gotta a GPS," I usually get a phone call 10 minutes after the appointed time with a chagrined, "Um, yeah . . . I can't find your house."

    It is REALLY hard to find.

    Maybe we should get one of those neon flashing arrows screaming, "OVER HERE!!!"

  2. omg! loser-cruiser! i love it!! i literally rofl.