Tuesday, March 31, 2015

The Question & Answer period

Recently I redd a Shidduch to someone. What a great feeling it was to be on the other side. I called both parties, got through to one who was willing and I couldn't get through to the other side. Two weeks went by and I fel utterly guilty as I had promised one side to get back but really couldn't manage get hold of the other side at all. Being in this situation myself, I was frustrated as I know how much the waiting game can be hurtful and annoying at the same time. No one likes to wait and everyone makes promises but I'd like to believe I'm a woman of my word. 
Finally I got throught to the other party (they had been overseas for 2 weeks!) and said they would look into it. I cannot explain the joy I had in calling back the first side to let them know that no, I had not forgotten them and no, the other side didn't get a 'no' but they were just Unreachable. Needless to say, they were very happy I called back to keep them in the loop. 
In Shidduchim we constantly wait around. Wait to get suggestions, wait to reach references, wait to tag people down, wait for a shadchan to call back, wait for a 'yes' or 'no' to the date, etc. I just had a similar issue when a guy was redd to me and we both agreed to date but he changed his mind and decided he didn't think I was for him. The shadchan was shocked at the sudden backing out and claims to know him well and really believes this was a good shidduch but I'm now in 'question and answer mode' meaning I'm told to 'wait it out' whilst she asks all the appropriate questions and he or his mom get to think over the answers if this is for him or not. 

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