Got a pair of pants? That's how wonderful Shidduch ideas come about. Pants and a Skirt. Which is why it's quite interesting that this has been my biggest pet peeves these past few weeks.
It seems that the last few guys who were 'redd' to me couldn't even own up to being called 'a man'. Literally, it was like suggesting a guy in his late 20s, early 30s but you have to go through his mom. 'His mom wants a pic. His mom wants a resume. His mom wants to know why you wrote .... on your resume. His mom doesn't think he can come in for a date'....and so it went on.
Then came the guy #2, also late 20s, early 30s. Even though this guy dealt with Shidduchim on his own accord and was speaking directly to the shadchan himself, he couldn't make up his mind and decide what kind of person he actually is. You heard me folks-he had a problem with the fact that when he called references to look into me and what kinda guy I was looking to marry, he wasn't sure if he fit that mold exactly. Funny, as the whole reason the shadchan suggested it, as she clearly told me, was that he was everything I was looking for-according to my resume. The guy suddenly had a moment of self-reflection and decided that maybe last year he was that guy on the resume but now he doubted he was the same dude. Anyway, that took a week of self-reflection without getting back to me...maybe he went to rehab?
Guy #3 was truly interesting. He heard I use internet-ummm. Welcome to era of the millenium?! and might just but isn't quire sure if he's ok with that....Funny how his resume came by EMAIL, and email goes through internet-so whaaa!??!? (in a singsong up tune) In the interim he's waiting to see what his Rav's take on women using internet is (and yes, this is serious). If his Rav is ok with it and won't disregard him in a lesser light, than maybe he will honor me with his very gracious 'YES' to agree to date me, if not, well then he'll go with whatever his Rav says.
Guys-grow a pair. Seriously, make up your OWN mind. If you're old enough to date for marriage, then you're old enough to make your OWN decisions. Newsflash: once you're married, you're going to have to make grown up decision and while you will B"H IY"H still have your parents and Rabbonim to consult with, at some point in your life, you will have to come up with answers and minor decisions on your own. As much as I am very pro in involving your parents and asking advice of a Rav on issues, I also believe people have their own minds for a reason. You have an opinion, just speak up for yourself.
So going back to my first question....do you know anyone who wears a pair of pants?