Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Shavuos Suggestions

Now that a week has passed since Erev Shavuos, I am calm enough to write this post. You see, as Shavuos is one of the shalosh regalim, it is also one of the Yomim Tovim people travel to be with their families. Which means more harassment from many more people. And by people, I mean old classmates and married friends who I haven't seen since graduation or their teen weddings. 
It's always awkward meeting up with the old married classmates. I mean, I consider myself a very outgoing and social person. I am B"H blessed with many wonderful friends, some new, and some from ages back who have kept in touch throughout the years. All in all though, I can't say I've had much of a personality change. I'm the same kid from high school who was the comic relief. I'm the girl who still shys away from the intimidating people and who laughs at everything else. 
Yet-when I pass by the old marrieds, I guess it freaks them out a bit-seeing one of who they used to be, one of their kind, who still hasn't moved on. I see it in their eyes-the pity, the sadness. I hear it in the commencement of their conversation, with their 'oy nebach' sighs. And of course the "but really, how ARE you?" questions. 
Then there are the ones who suggest you the only single guy they know of who is in his late 40s, divorced twice, only has kids from the first wife who lives overseas and he has nothing to do with. Who also sports a pot belly and is a bit bald but really sweet and will really take care of his spouse. 
Sheesh, each time Yom Tov comes around I sorta dread meeting up with my old classmates. Either they think my singledom is some kinda disease and suddenly they don't know how to act or what to say. Or they suggest the most offensive and insulting suggestions because they don't have any actual suggestions. 
In order to avoid the awkwardness, I'm thinking of coming to Shul next Yom Tov wearing a sandwich sign that says 'please do not disturb-I don't talk during Davening and/or whilst I'm in Shul'. 


  1. No one believes us, do they? Nor do they hear themselves. I really can't blame them, because if I got married at 21 I would probably think the same thing: "Oh, she's just picky, and she sent the right one away." But then I can't seem to be understanding anymore.

    After going to a shidduch organization recently, I was pushed to go out with a divorced guy in his late 30s. Yeah, I know what late 30s means. The whole time I was there, and they charged money mind you, she just hocked me about this guy.

    Later she sends an email that oops, he's actually over 40. No, really? I could have told you that.

    Someone else suggested a guy who is divorced and has a baby and lives across the country. To be "polite" I said, "Well, I don't really want to move out there, so . . ."

    "He has no problem relocating."

    "But what about his child?"

    "Oh, he says it would be better for the baby if he's not in her life at all."

    So I should be interested in a guy who cuts and runs? Why wouldn't he do that to the next wife, hmmm?

    We Hungarian girls are strong. We are strong.

  2. Princess: here here (raising large cocktail glass to ya)