Thursday, March 20, 2014

Purim Prank or Profile Punishment?

I was speaking with a shadchan the other day for quite some time. The issue that came up (this time) was one that was mentioned before so I wasn't at all alarmed-just disappointed. 
He explained to me that he redd me a shidduch but upon calling the references listed on my profile, the boy/boy's mom got a TOTALLY different impression of me. The references they spoke with described an 'extremist' type girl with very yeshivish views and chassidish background. 
No-I kid you all not. That whole phrase didn't make sense to me either, in fact it's a total oxymoron, which is why I had the shadchan repeat it to me numerous times. 
The deal is, I've had issues in the past with my references, which is sad as most people use their friends and close confidants as shidduch references. So when you're informed that someone close to you is giving bad/wrong information, you sorta start losing trust in those around you. So began Shidduch Profile 1.2 and then 1.3.  Now in 2014 I would say I've updated to Shidduch 4.0 and I have faith in my references...well I did have faith in them until this week. 
What irks me is how off that phrase that the boy's mom told the shadchan is. For starters I'm totally Hungarian background not chassidish. Second of all Yeshivish is no where near me at ALL. And lastly all the small details about my personality were total opposite. So I can't figure out why someone close enough to be my friend would sabotage me. 
I'm praying that this is all just 'broken telephone'.
Then again, with my friends, this can all be one large Purim prank gone too far. Well, only one way to find out :D

1 comment:

  1. The plight of the Hungarian! Because I use one or two flowery Yiddish words in my conversation, people (Poilish, American, Yekke) assume that I am chassidish. Then I go on and on explaining that Satmar was NOT in Hungary proper, but in Romania, and that Hungary did not have a prominent chassidish population. Because the current world tends to parse itself into chassidish, yeshivish, or modern, that leaves us Hungarian lassies at a disadvantage.

    Szol a kakos mar! Sing it with me!

    But, as I always say in times like this, it is all bashert. You cannot help what (1) people say about you or (2) what other people choose to hear. It could be these people chose to misinterpret.

    One time it came back to me that a reference totally botched the job, and we were so angry. Years later I ended up going out with the guy, and you know what? TOTALLY not shayach. If it is bashert, you'll bump into him anyway when the time is right.