Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Insta..MAN

It all started with instant coffee. Then came the instant soups. Now there's Instagram. These days, everyone wants things instantaneously. Who can blame them really? I would've loved to be married with kids by now. I would love to come home to a loving husband, zany lively children, with a messy house, but, there are other plans for me.
Yet, when Shadchanim call with a Shidduch, they need an answer from you-the 'girl', NOW. They want a resume ASAP, a don't forget a photo. Everything is now, now, now. Which got me thinking....

Wouldn't it be great to get an InstaMan?
Once you're married, you'd have an InstaFam
Your wig will make you InstaGlam
You'd host lotsa house parties: InstaJam
Don't forget all your Shabbos guests-InstaCram
A husband to go eat Shwarma with: InstaLamb
You'd go from 'Miss' to InstaMa'am
With your baby on the way, he'd buy you an InstaPram
a man on your team=InstaSlam
to all those people who told you, you'd never get married: InstaWham

I'm an InstaFan
of finding an InstaMan
so for now, that's my InstaPlan
commencing InstaScan

(attention: all eligible young men-please feel free to reply :)

5 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. "Growing up happens in a heartbeat. One day you're in diapers, the next day you're gone. But the memories of childhood stay with you for the long haul. I remember a place, a town, a house like a lot of other houses, a yard like a lot of other yards, on a street like a lot of other streets. And the thing is, after all these years, I still look back, with wonder."

    Basically, don't be in a rush for insta-anything. Life is meant to be lived, not passed by, hoping and waiting for the next stage, so focused on it that the stage you're at passes you by, and you look back wondering where it all went.

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  3. I know this post is a joke - a good girl like you would never wear a glamorous wig. I picture you in a modest, mature chin-length bob, kind of like your BY HS teachers used to wear. No Julia Roberts "Pretty Woman" looks for you. Because even if other people don't know, YOU know that the point of wearing a wig is not to look glamorous, it's to serve Hashem.

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  4. This is amazing! Had me laughing so hard.. you are really talented and witty!

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  5. Awesome. I laughed out loud reading InstaLamb and InstaWham. Great post!

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