Sunday, June 2, 2013

Lunch & Leave

While reading this blogpost by Frumanista, I had a Deja Vu. Could she have gone out with the same guy with whom I had a similar experience numerous years ago? Then again, it could be someone else entirely who was just brought up the same way-to treat people, specifically, women, like trash.
Let me enlighten y'all...Quite a few years ago, this woman called to suggest a shidduch. She lived a few blocks away and even though she didn't know me or my family that well, she claimed to have 'found the one' for me. She provided the information and asked me to do research. All the calls I made were people who gave glowing reports on the guy, not to mention, explaining how hard it was to get him to go out with any girl and that if he said yes-I should go for it
It truly sounded too good to be true and as I always say, "when it sounds to good to be usually is....or else, there is a hidden catch somewhere". 
In any case, I traveled to the Big Apple to meet him. Of course the phone calls to set up the date prior to our meeting were similar to what Princess Lea posted, they all started off when his friends were around, when he was heading to a meeting, etc. basically, whenever he 'really couldn't talk (properly)'. He set the date up and didn't come on time. Just a small note <-this air="" amp="" brooklyn-="" fresh="" heat="" high="" in="" lack="" of="" sewage="" smelly="" summer="humid," the="" was=""> We drove to a small restaurant which he claimed was new in the area and ordered brunch. The entire date he kept picking up his blackberry, checking his emails? news? texting? and explaining how busy he was as an entrepreneur, etc. I honestly stopped listening after I saw him pick up his phone a third time, knowing there was no emergency, and knowing this was NOT mentchlechkeit, or proper date protocol. Nevertheless, an exact hour later, he dropped me off at my host. I say drop off, because that's exactly what it was and how it felt. He explained he had a meeting to go to and had managed to squeeze me in between. 
To this day, I am not even insulted, I just feel that someone like that should be given a proper course on manners and how to treat people. I didn't travel such a far distance, as well as spend the time/money/effort/emotions to be 'squeezed' in as a companion for someone's brunch. 
Nevertheless, the guy has loads of dates lined up, because as most people see him: he's tall, good looking, put together, has a great business, talkative, friendly, from a great family. The only thing they don't know, and cannot know unless they try and spend even just a mere hour of his time=he is NOT a mentch, so all of the above is null and void.
Princess-I feel for you and hope you told the Shadchan exactly what you wrote...

1 comment:

  1. Ooooh, you reminded me, he kept looking at his phone and whining how the office will function without him for an hour. Plus, despite the fact he lives in easy driving distance from my home, he didn't even suggest picking me up from my house, which could have been done easily on oh, SUNDAY!!!

    It's not about that these guys don't know about manners. They are just so insecure they would feel "stupid" if they treated someone right and she could still potentially reject them. From a top, hot-shot professional, yet! They need help int hat they think being decent makes them look like a sucker.