Thursday, February 10, 2011

Can we PLEEZ Skip the System?

OK, guys & gals-we have GOT to get outta this 'Shidduch System'.
I've officially had it. Everything is 'official', 'planned', 'systematized', 'categorized', etc. so much so that everything is second guessing each other. Heck-I'm beginning to second guess my every thought!
Why can't it just be as they have it in all the chick flicks i.e. 2 gals walkin down a busy Manhattan street, as they chat and gossip about their days, they see a couple of cute guys walking past. They turn around, count to 15 (ok, maybe like 7) and then follow discretely behind the men. They end up in a quaint coffee shop/dairy restaurant and end up sitting pretty close. As they order, one of the men hear the girl ordering something that sounds exotic and he questions her about her choice, which in turn gets them talking as to how she knows about her selection and when she first had it, etc. they each have nice convos, find each other interesting, chat throughout their meal and end up taking down the other's number to continue.
Plain. Simple. Neat. Clean.
no 'in-betweener', no 'shadchan', no 'accept match and wait for answer', no 'emailing photos', no 'fax the resume first'.
Why can't things just be simple?
Truth is-even if I see a guy who catches my eye, I wouldn't walk right up to them. Heck-for all I know, he could be married, or even have kids! and THAT would be quite embarrassing, hitting on a married man!, help me out here. Any suggestions on how to 'skip the system'?


  1. I know a bunch of secular people. It's even more difficult for them...
    hearing their complaints 100% definitely make me appreciate this system more!
    Hang in there :)

    Shabbat shalom!

  2. The fact is, it's not so simple, neat, and clean.

    What if the guy doesn't like you, you don't like him? "I'm sorry, you have a great personality, but I don't see a future together."

    To his/her face.


    The reason why more people are opting for the system rather than the old socializing bit is that someone else does the dirty work for you. You don't have to be the bad guy, while on the flip side you don't have to be crushed in the presence of the dumper.

    Plus, why is it that girls are chasing the guys? It's a world gone mad. In the chick flicks, guys are slavering over standoffish females who think they can do better (and they probably can) until persuaded otherwise.

    The shidduch system is all I know. That's how my family's been doing this for generations. Those who it doesn't come naturally to messed it up, in my opinion. I don't blame the system, I'm just annoyed at the individuals who botched it and made up new rules.